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Re: Ask Us Anything // Parenting through tough times featuring CanTeen // Mon 28 Oct - Fri 1 Nov

Thanks again @Lauz for passing on this question 🙂

 

Being the sibling of someone going through cancer, or any complex/chronic health condition, isn't easy. Many of you reading this as parents may have in fact had that experience yourself, as children. Watching someone so close to us, both in relationship and age, go through painful experiences - it's raw, unescapable, stressful. Our own sibling research at CanTeen (in liasion with Uni of Syd) found 57% of young people (12-24 years) who have a brother or sister with cancer have high to very high levels of psychological distress (versus 9% for the general population).

 

However siblings can also build incredible resilience, understanding and insight from their experiences (you can read a little bit from one of our sibling CanTeen Youth Ambassadors here!). 🙂

 

Obviously there are lot of different pressures on all members of your family right now. Siblings sometimes might feel as though they have either slipped into the background, or have had to take that place to ensure the family unit keeps ticking-over. Speaking openly to them about how they percieve changes in routines, and asking how these changes have affected your young person, is a great place to start. This can also be an ongoing conversation other family members (like an uncle, aunt, or family friend) can have, as an nominated, additional adult support person.

 

Noticing (and commenting) on where siblings have provided caring/housework support for the family, and sharing this out between all family members/friends/services who can assist, makes sharing-the-load much more sustainable (espeically when young people are often also juggling study/work/other commitments too).

 

While there might be less time for everyone, it's worth asking if there is something particularly important to your sibling-young person that will sustain them through this chapter. That might be the soccer team they are on, going to band practice once a week, or having Friday nights with their friends. This provides them their own outlet and place to thrive. If it's difficult getting them to/from, or finances are tricky, be open about this, and see if you can brainstorm a solution together (eg getting a lift with friends, splitting the costs of rego fees).

[of course, you may need something to sustain you through this too - perhaps a regular coffee with a friend, or Monday mornings at the gym... whatever helps with creating positive head space!]

 

CanTeen can also provide another layer of support for young siblings 12-25 who have a brother or sister living with/who has died from/or survived cancer. We're there to help them work though their unique challenges, and connect them with others who understand. If they want to know more, send them along to canteenconnect.org.au 🙂

 

Wishing you all the best as you travel down this road - Cara (online counsellor) 🙂

Re: Ask Us Anything // Parenting through tough times featuring CanTeen // Mon 28 Oct - Fri 1 Nov

Hi everyone, 

 

A big thanks for those that got involved, those that submitted questions and those that read along in this event last week! And a BIG thank you to @CanTeenConnect for sharing such wonderful information, insight and for letting us know about their great services. Do be sure to check out their new ParentConnect community! We really appreciated your time with us throughout the week @CanTeenConnect 💙

Re: Ask Us Anything // Parenting through tough times featuring CanTeen // Mon 28 Oct - Fri 1 Nov

Thanks for the invite, Sane Australia! We hope this can be a little resource for those here on the Carer forums going through similar challenges. We hope to see some of you over on CanTeen Connect for Parents too!
- The CanTeen Connect team 🙂

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