Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Something’s not right
14-03-2023 06:02 PM
posting a lot im sorry - seeking advice
- hi. im wondering if anybody can shed some light on this for me please. my bf/partner was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in his 20s. he is now 44. he is unmedicated and is not interested in seeking medical help or monitoring or managing any of his symptoms, triggers or reactions. thus is explained in my earlier post. it has caused severe problems between us and for him. my question though is that he had at times told me he does not remember what he has said or done and sees the fallout later (I should note he self medicates with alcohol and it is an addiction). he has also often said to me that he does not know why he does some of the things he does. recently, prior to the current major issues we are having, he reacted quite strongly when I asked him something. he said that my questions are 'dumb fk' questions and that questions like why did you do that? what were u thinking? how do I fit into that? are all ptsd triggering questions to him based on events and I am like everyone else by asking. I am no different and he feels like a beaten cat. one of the major issues between us has been accountability. he behaves as he pleases, says what he wants - hurtful, angry, mean, harsh - but if I ask about it or bring it up he becomes angry and reacts like this.
I guess my question is - is it common for somebody with bipolar 2 (unmedicated) firstly to not know why they do what they do. secondly to be so overwhelmed when they are called to account or asked about their behaviour and its real and damaging and hurtful effects. is this a trauma situation for them? and I guess lastly how much of that reaction is referable to the bipolar and how much is referable to himself as a person.
I should add I never yell or throw anger at him. I do not attack him. I ask why he did what he did. what his reasons are. what he believes it has caused. I subdue my emotions as much as I can though the hurt does come out and sometimes I cry - which makes him react with anger and he mocks me. he will rarely engage in a real conversation about why and will shut it and me down. this is not an attempt to justify anything. just to understand what is happening. thank you for your time