depressed AND manic

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @uggbootdiva, what I would really like to know because I am curious, are the mood stabilisers helping? As coming off anti depressants makes sense if they're not helping with the depression.
My psych said he was treating lots of clients who were misdiagnosed with bipolar but actually had ADHD. He said when these clients tried medication targeting ADHD, turnaround was incredible..
I also can fully understand the desire to get things done when manic, but like @loopy, and @kristin have to stop myself..better to deliberately slow myself down than fall in a heap afterwards, which can then seriously impact my moods..don't know about anyone else, but I can give myself such a downer with my thinking.. Much much better now acting purposely and thoughtfully...ACT Acceptance Commitment Therapy had helped enormously..

[kristin]

Hey @Loopy 

Lovely to hear from you. I sooo relate to the rushing around and not knowing what you are doing/ getting nothing done. Well done for the enforced slow-down. Stopping and being present in the rush can make such a difference. I also really relate to what you say about making notes and losing them 

Kind regards,

Kristin

[Uggbootdiva]

@unfocused yes mood stabiliser (it's an anti seizure medication used for epileptics) has def helped with reducing the frequency and severity of depression.
I don't know anything about ADHD. I do trust my psychiatrist as she is her area of expertise is bipolar, in particular bipolar 2.

I have only had one or two episode of depression which started to have dark thoughts, in about 2 years.

I am sure all of the MI are connected at some level to chemical interactions in the brain. Anxiety, mania and depression seem all so closely related. And then the hallucinations of schizophrenia seem to be similar to the manic episodes of bipolar.

I don't know a lot about schizophrenia though, so would need some one more experienced to comment.

[Uggbootdiva]

@Alessandra1992 I just had a very brief look at some of the description and symptoms of ADHD and don't really relate. Only time I have some of these symptoms is when I am really manic. The vic health site said
" Symptoms that do not occur only during the course of a developmental disorder, a mental illness like schizophrenia or other psychotic disorder, and cannot be explained by another disorder (such as mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder or a personality disorder)."

[JT]

@tabby  and @Uggbootdiva 

They didn't put me on a mood stabilser initially because they thought it was bipolar but rather because I hadn't slept for a week and they wanted me to sleep. As a result though, my mood stabilised.  I've had mood swings for as long as I can remember.  They got progressively worse as I aged, hit me like a steam train at puberty and when I had kids they went off the planet.  I had no idea that I was meant to be able to get through a month or at times a week without that swinging.  I thought it was normal to stay up for a week, cry for a week, yell at people for no reason, bake cookies with the kids at 2am and so on.  That was my normal.  Being on mood stabilisers gave me a completely different view and while I don't like everything about them at least it means I'm capable of being a parent and not burning myself out.

[LustStarrr]

OMFG, yes, October is around my worst time of year too! Several other friends of mine are the same, several of whom have been in hospital for mental health reasons in the last few weeks. All of my major depressive episodes in the past have occurred at this time of year too, from what I can remember.

I too suffer personality fluxes, which is a constant issue but seems more intense at this time of year. I originally sought medical advice for these fluxes around 8 years ago, after doing my own research online & at the library, terrified that they were the result of undiagnosed bipolar I or II. It was instead determined that I was instead suffering from borderline personality disorder, which also causes fluxes of both highs & lows, albeit less extreme & much shorter ones than bipolar does.

[Uggbootdiva]

@JT I laughed when I read your post! Doesn't everyone bake cookies at 2am? I also think 4am is a great time to sort out ones wardrobe. And I thought lying on the kitchen floor crying all weekend was normal too.

The mood stabiliser has not been magic, I still get depressed but it's def better. The problem now ois what to do with th highs. I have been injured but hopefully can get back to exercise soon which should help with the mania....

[kristin]

Hey Sandy ( @Alessandra1992 )

Yes the weather can impact my moods, over the weekend I was feeling pretty crapola and the weather definitely wasn't helping. I don't know if it's the rapid barometric shifts, the humidity or the oppressive sense very low cloud cover brings. I will have to pay closer attention from now on, and see what correlation (if any) there is. I do know my son, who doesn't have a MI, gets terrible migraines when there is a rapid shift in baromeric pressure (thankfully not very often so it must be a combination with other things - one seems to be very low cloud cover!).

I think it's wise to allow yourself to cry when you do. We have this terrible Anglo-Saxon "stiff upper lip" cultural hangover which says we shouldn't cry. Tears are a gift, a release of pain and anguish which hurt so much more when held in - though letting it out can wring you out for a while I find it is such a relief!

Music can be a very useful can-opener for me. When I am struggling with letting myself cry then some music can help me to allow that release. It can be an issue sometimes, especially wandering around the local supermarket. I absolutely hate their Colesworth junk food people jingles & ads, but someitmes these are safer for me to be infuriated with rather than trying not to cry all over the shop and people staring at me as if I have three heads!

Kind regards,

Kristin

[tabby]

Im a cookie cooker in the wee hours of the night also, and known to get the sewing machine out as well in the middle of the night, kids are used to it and husband works away its like 'I Just Have To Do It Now' to keep up the rolling of thought patterns Also when im hyper I dont notice or feel the weather temperature sorta strange but my senses get all outa wack, anyone else relate?

[JT]

I would like to find the mid point that allows me to cry when my dog dies and show some enthusiasm at good news.  Playing with doses has left me in a holding pattern that allows way too many crying in the corners and leaves projects half finished though I do start them with energy and conviction.  I try to work with the highs in a constructive way though my half finished re-arrangement of the living area is testament to my time management skills 😉  

I think in my case, the thing that strikes me as most poignant is when my kids watch me for a bit then ask if I'm taking my medication.  They aren't joking around, they have noticed a fluctuation and they are checking to make sure I'm taking it.  It brings me down to earth and it makes me realise that I should have acted sooner and I need to make sure I do stick to my treatment.  

I'm hoping to use exercise too now that after 2 years of increasing pain I have finally found a doctor who examined me rather than telling me to lose weight (the 40 kilograms I've put on since the pain started mind you, I would dearly love it gone)  and discovered I actually have osteoarthritis which is now rather advanced.  My god do the correct painkillers do amazing things.  Now I just have to start a suitable exercise program and take the load off my back and knee so I can avoid the knee replacement she predicts I'll need.  

*note: what on earth is wrong with the word kil.os?  It made me change it!