Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Something’s not right
01-10-2019 12:34 AM
My partner of 15 years has just been admitted to the psychiatric ward forcably by the mental health act
she refused treatment and there was nothing I could do about it
she has some form of psychological condition that I could not help with
shes is being held there until she sees the doctor in morning to try to get a mental treatment plan in place
has anybody been in this situation that could help me through this
i have a 14 yo daughter as well that is quite upset and is suffering with anxiety attacks as well
we both know mums sick, but how can I tell her I can’t fix things like dads normally can
01-10-2019 04:06 AM
Re: Support maybe
@Horsie Hi Horsie and welcome to the forum. I was that mum you are talking about and from first hand experience I would say be honest. Tell the truth and above all support your wife. No one except my mother came in to visit me in the mental health ward and it was very lonely, scary experience being in hospital. None of my children came in at all for a variety of reasons but the thing is your wife needs support. It will be a long road of psychitrists, psychologists etc but take it day by day and try not let it all overwhelm you.
Above all remember that while your wife is sick it is the illness that is doing the talking not your wife. It may take months for her to 'get better' so try not to be hurt by what she says or does. I will be online on and off during the day if you want to talk. Put a @infront of my name or others and they will be notified of your posting. Take good care of yourself and your daughter and above all remember it is not your wife who you are dealing with it is the mi and she needs her family there with her to get through this in one piece. Love peax
01-10-2019 04:48 AM
Re: Support maybe
Thankyou for your time and response
It’s only early in her treatment and I will stand beside her
It’ll be hard to juggle work and my daughter
I know my partner is scared and so am I
Her mother ended up in a psyc ward and never came out so the fear is real for us both
I’ll keep the forum informed and I’ll ask questions when I can
But my first thing I’ll be asking is to be taught about what she is diagnosed with and learn to help her through it myself with my daughter
It’ll be hard as she is in lockdown for failure to accept treatment from the doctors
05-10-2019 07:38 PM
Re: Support maybe
@Horsie Hello and sorry for the long post . I was in a very similar situation as yourself except it was my husband. The first time he was admitted he was in voluntary and discharged himself. The second time my husband continuously demanded to be released. He walked out and then was brough back and held under the act, he refused treatment for a little while so they needed to force meds. This hurt me to know this but knew it was for the best. After a week the meds took effect and my husband started to see clearer and accepted treatment.
I put my trust in the doctors and spoke to them about my concerns. I badly wanted him home but due to how hard life is when he is having an episode I had to fully trust the doctors to hold him. I had open communication with his doctors and nurses. They were great and would let me call the ward at anytime of the day or night if I was worried and try to answer any of my questions or got the doctor to call me back. To this day this has been my saving grace as I can speak to them about any concerns I have now he is home and they are always there to offer support. They just want to see him well also.
I spoke to my 9 year old as I wanted her to know what was going on and that it was not her fault. I Told her daddy’s brain is unwel and his confused and sadness chemicals are really high. I said they are helping him fix his brain. she is content with this explanation for now. Because she knows this she is more understanding of my emotions and daddy sometimes being funny when we visited him. I also tell her daily that I may get upset or angry but it’s not her fault and if I do, I always apologise and remind my babies it’s not their fault.
I work full time and was the only income while he was in hospital. It was a great distraction for me. I tried to keep to a strict normal as usual routine with my kids but let them have breaks from extra curricular activities if and when needed. I also tried to eat healthy and made special time to go for a long walk each weekend and then a milkshake with them for special mummy time. This not only helped them but me also. We took photos and videos and sent it to daddy as he liked to see what we were up to and he said it was like he was there with us.
We visited daily after work and school. It was very draining on everyone. After a few weeks I had to cut it back to once every second day as my mental health started to decline. I would call my husband daily instead at recess and lunch and after work.
Lastly the most important thing I have done was I got into contact with Helpingminds. They have helped me and my children through so
much. They are a great support network for careers. They offer advice and counselling for both you and your daughter. I don’t know where you are located but see if you have something similar. If anything get support yourself.
Hope me this helps a little. Remember this is one little experience and yours may be completely different. If you have any other questions I’m here if you need it .
08-10-2019 12:17 PM
Re: Support maybe
Thankyou to all who replied
she is coming back home today
treated for b12 deficiency
we we will see what happens now
thankyou once again