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Something’s not right

Maybellet
New Contributor

Sister won't get help-

I'm going to try to make this long story as short as I can.  My family has for a few years now- been trying to get my sister to seek mental help. Something is very wrong- she won't go to work but a day or two every couple of weeks, with some excuse or another-some made up sickness or anxiety, stuff like that. How she has a job- if she has a job we don't know, She lies to everyone about everything and tells us all she's fine. No drug abuse that we know of but anything is possible at this point. She is either in bed all day, or on couch on Facebook. Her house is dirty- doesn't take care of anything. Rotten food, etc. dogs not getting proper care- no shots, flea treatments, etc, she has recently took in two cats and a rabbit. More background on this: a few years ago- before this got this way she adopted a teenager with medical and emotional and learning problems. She was working at the time and it seemed okay. 

Very recently she took in two teenage girls- they have their issues- they were taken out of their homes. She has guardianship over them. This has been done in the midst of all this trouble. She obviously has lied to authorities about her situation. I understand she had friends come in to clean her house. 

She begs my father for money- he is very ill, has cancer and is on a feeding tube. He feels bad and gives it to her. He cannot afford to, he is on fixed income and has to take care of himself with his money. He is also depressed and sick from worrying about his daughter. We know he has given her more than revealed. My brother has taken food to her because the kids call and say they're hungry. Or they have right out asked for money. He feels bad, he has also put her debt on his credit card to help her with bills. She pays no one back, she can't. She doesn't go to work. I don't know if she's getting money for these girls or not but she is still asking for money. We also learned she asks others for money also and has gotten gifts and gift cards from people. She asked dad for money yesterday come to find put she had just posted on Facebook she was wanting to get her her dyed and cut. So we're sure that's what she wanted it for- she has no priorities and makes such bad decisions.   She doesn't get up to clean, work, Etc. 

We all have offered to take her, and to assist her to get mental help, she says she's okay. She is not. Somethings going on.

So yesterday we had to put a stop to her getting money from our sick father.  She is mad of course, says she got the money from some man who lives in far away whom we all know can't hold a job so we doubt this is true. She doesn't want anything to do with us anymore. It's just to the point what else can we do? We've offered her help, we would do whatever we could to help her- but no one has the money to support her and she takes in more children that she can't feed- no one knows how her house or utilities are being paid but she makes sure they all have phones and Internet. It's just a mess and it is breaking us all apart. 

 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Sister won't get help-

Hello @Maybellet and welcome to the forum Heart

thank you for shaing  your story , It must be very hard

My husband who has MI and has cancelled all help

How are you today

Re: Sister won't get help-

Hi @Maybellet 🙂

As @Shaz51 says a big welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us. 

This sounds like a challenging and difficult situation you are all in. I'm sure there are many carers here on the forum who can vouch how frustrating and hard it can be when our loved ones aren't willing to seek the help we wish they would. I know the SANE Help Centre speaks to many callers about this too. 

Perhaps reading over the discussiopn from a Topic Tuesday for RUOK Day on Tips for responding to someone who isn't ok could be helpful. 

There's also a blog with the same title here.

I wonder if any of our community members have anything else they might be able to talk to you about in relation to their expereinces? 

I'm really glad you have found the forums as an outlet for yourself. We are here and listening.

Don't forget to try and take time for yourself too, 

Pebbles 🙂

 

Re: Sister won't get help-

Hi @Maybellet, just wondering how things are going with your sister now? 

I hope you and the rest of the family are doing ok too.

 

 

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