Mum doesnt do much...ever. Most of the time she sleeps all day. She says she does a lot but no one can identify what that is. She is in heart failure and the doctors have clearly stated she needs to be up doing stuff, you know it would be nice if she would walk down and spend time with the family. There is always an excuse as to why she doesnt. Doesnt like how Dad and I eat, we all go do our own things, etc. Generally its just BS to justify her staying in her room.
The one thing she does do is Facebook Buy Swap Sell, she has calmed down a bit lately but thats because my sister has been in hospital and my Dad retired so not out as much. Because basically, she would organise to buy something and then instruct either my Dad or sister to go and buy it. She still sends Dad stuff, he just tends to ignore it more. Now to be clear, it can be something small but most of the time its a decent size. Often the stuff sent to Dad are things like freaking pegolas, car ports etc. She will send my sister for cupboards, drawers, small stuff etc.
Now this isnt a few things, the house is full of shit, we have multiple sheds, like lots of sheds full of shit, tens of thousands would have been spent. Not to mention the time and fuel picking it all up.
My sister coped most of it, Mum would make her go out and pick stuff up. If she didnt do it Mum would argue and fight, same with Dad. But with my sister she would be threatened with Mum slashing her arms or killing herself. There has been amazing manipulation. She just fights and badgers until he gives in.
You will notice that I havent said about me. When I worked in the office she would get me to pick stuff up on the way home, I drove a ute but dont know how to tie a load down so if could only be small, though she would trick me into picking up loads and using my tarp to "tie" it down. Eventually the tarp got all ripped and torn and was useless. She continued to ask me to pick stuff up, one day I had enough and said no, no more. We fought for literal months but I didnt back down and today it is rare for me to pick anything up, even if I was going to stop next door for some reason I wouldnt pick something up.
The amount of stress this causes is incredible. We are now trying to sell this crap but we have the new fight of her saying no to selling stuff. So we dont tell her. A lot of the stuff has rotted or been eaten by mice so it has to be gotten rid of which is costing money. It takes room in the house, so we are having to walk side on in some areas to get through, there is just shit everywhere. We are in a big house, there is a second lounge, thats full, totally full of stuff.
Mum still gets stuff though she pays them to post it now, and I or Dad have to pick up the parcels from the post office. The parcels can go forever without being opened. Thats the worst, maybe, thing is none of it is used, like its just stored we get it for the sake of having it. .
Im really worried that when my sister gets home from hospital Mum will start up again, she doesnt see how she has contributed to the situation at all, its all mine and Dads fault that my sister is in hospital.
I basically have no relationship with Mum anymore. Other than waking her in the morning, because I have to wake her because for some reason an alarm isnt an option, I barely speak to her. I used to go to her for advise, but advice turned out to being told what to do or her expectation not advise so I stopped. I tend to call her out on her BS or Ill get stuck talking to her when I go down for a shower, her shower is the only one big enough for my shower chair.
She adds so much unneccessary stress and I cant deal with any additional stress so I just leave her alone. Its become clear that my psychotic symptoms are triggered by stress so as much that causes me stress is eliminated. If it was an illness, Id have more time for her but these are choices being made and I dont think I should feel bad for not wanting that in my life.
Side note maybe thats part of my adversion to showering
