I can’t cope

[rav3n]

hiya @Captain24 just passing by and read about your win at work!!! i'm the type of person who completely freezes up when i need to ask questions too so hearing this made me so so happy, proud of you 💙

[Captain24]

Thanks @rav3n. That means a lot

[Jynx]

@Captain24 Aww so not only did you push yourself outside your comfort zone, you also did something that was meaningful to your colleagues!! I think you can be more than a little proud! 

It's like... if we punish ourselves over every tiny mistake, shouldn't we celebrate ourselves over every tiny win?

[Captain24]

I guess. @Jynx. Allowing myself to be a little proud is pretty big. It doesn’t change anything else

[Captain24]

I feel sick and scared

[Jynx]

@Captain24 it doesn't fix everything else but I think it will still have an impact - small, yes, but still no less important. Recovery is like a marathon, and whilst this step won't get you over the finish line, you're still closer than before.

Take some breaths hun (remember how helpful a minute of measured breathing can be!), try a little  switch up of your environment, and check in with your basic needs (food, sleep, shower, meds, hydration, etc) - maybe even revisit those coping thoughts I posted earlier? 

I am off for now, but sending you one last BIG squeeze 🫂🫂 before I go!! Chat to you tomorrow?

[Captain24]

Thanks @Jynx.

Ive had a shower, I’ve eaten, I’m in bed. I need to be asleep but I’m not. 

I have reread your posts trying to let them enter. 

It’s just really hard. I want to go to sleep and just stay sleeping. 

Im not ok at all. But I'm in bed so as long as I stay here I am safe. 

I know you have gone for the night. 

I hope you have a good night. I know it’s just starting for you. 

[Captain24]

So.. I’m sitting in the emergency department. Scared out of my mind. They are not sure if I’m having heart issues. 

I think it’s just indigestion but work made the call. I got driven into town by ambulance. They took me in the same door as when I was brought in before. At least this time I’m in a bed not in the safe room.

[Ru-bee]

@Captain24 it sounds like you must be in a bit of discomfort! I hope that they're able to work out what's going on quickly, and I'm glad that your work was cautious.

I'll sit with you while you wait to hear 💚

[Captain24]

There’s an emergency unfolding so they are a little held up. @Ru-bee.

They aren’t sure if the person is going to be ok. 

I’ve had to have a chest xray and everything. I’ve had several ECG’s and a blood test. 

Im a little scared.