I can’t cope

[Jynx]

---

@Captain24 wrote:

I told @Jynx I wouldn’t be vocal in here anymore so I should just not say anything. Just attempt to deal with it myself.

---

Huh? Did you? Did my forgetful brain do what it is oh so good at and forget this?

Well, that's your choice you can make hun! I mean, you can be vocal about it if you want, just so long as it's within guidelines (and if ever unsure just ask us). No part of me is wanting you to feel like you need to suppress your emotions. And I especially would never want you to feel like you have to deal with everything by yourself. 

---

@Captain24 wrote:

I tried that talking thing @Jynx but my dogs just looked at me like I was silly. It turns out that I just can’t voice it. 

---

Hahaha! Sorry for laughing but I can picture their tiny heads doing that like, side-tilt thing in my mind and that is just a very cute mental image. 

I can tell you now I felt extremely silly when I first started out too. It's just cos it's a bit unusual. And because I was told that horrible, heinous, despicable, and stigmatising lie growing up - that "talking to yourself is the first sign of madness!" Such a harmful thing, I think it's exceedingly healthy for us to talk to ourselves.

So yeah, it does feel uncomfortable, and if you're not usually chatty with your dogs (I'm always talking at my cats. Sing em lil songs, too, teehee) they might be a little alarmed, but they'd get used to it quick as you like. And for me, once I sorta 'got on a roll' with whatever I needed to vent about, the ick feeling pretty quickly disappears. That's me though - give it another go if you like but if it's not for you, that's ok too 😉

[Jynx]

@Snowie yeah BOOOO to adulting!! Can we please just move the whole lot of us out into the wilds to live in a quiet commune of cottages and communal cooking and cute art collectives with a library and a pond full of ducks and, and, and...

You should've heard the wistfulness of the sigh that just came out of me 😅

[Captain24]

Nah.. I haven’t tried. @tyme.

I think it’s both. I feel miserable and sick but my MH is struggling g. I think it might go hand in hand. 

Im not sure how to rescript them I've tried reframing but I’m not very good at that. 

[Snowie]

@Captain24 if it covered you for your hospital visits then I think you got your money's worth.

@tyme It's hard. I want the MH cover too so wouldn't go down a level either. I don't mind massages as long as they don't touch my feet. I always tell them to stay away from my feet!!

Oh @Jynx that sounds lovely. I would certainly live off the grid. Well except for internet. I need that to talk to my Sane family!!

[Captain24]

Yeah I did say @Jynx. It’s ok you forgot. It is only me. 

I do feel like I should suppress them. I feel like shouldn’t be so open. 

I do talk to them all the time. I just say random shit. It’s funny with the head tilt. If they are asleep when I talk to them I get the side eye! 

I’ll give it another try later. It just felt wrong. But I guess most things don’t come naturally. 

[Jynx]

@Snowie Yessss there's GOTTA be wifi haha. Honestly community living and community-mindset is a big theme for me this year, and it seems to be a vibe everyone is craving in some way or another. S'why I love the forums so much!! To have all our different worlds collide in a way they never would have otherwise is really cool. 

@Captain24 what we suppress and repress always comes back up one way or another!! Better expressing it here in the safety of a warm and empathetic community than alone or with unsafe people, no? If it's concern about guideline breaches and such we can always idk do a smidge of coaching or help clear up any uncertainties you might have. We're an open book yo, no such thing as a stupid question, ever. 

That is correct - it absolutely will NOT come naturally!! That's normal!!

It's like how getting on a bike for the first time didn't feel natural, it felt scary and wobbly and weird! But the more you do it the easier it gets. All progress takes place outside of the comfort zone after all!! 

Alrighty I gots to skedaddle!! Thank you for the lovely chats as always you wonderful beings @Snowie @Captain24 I hope you both have good sleepies! See ya next time 😊💜

[Captain24]

I tried Beyond blue chat but they said I needed to contact LL or SCBS @tyme I guess I’m just too much for everyone 

[tyme]

At least you gave it a go @Captain24 . I've never used BB, so I don't know what it's like. I know they have a forum too, but it's very different to this forum. 

Do you have a fever atm? 

Can you go for a walk or sit outside in fresh air?

[tyme]

@Snowie , I don't even like people touching me altogether! Hairdressers are supposed to be pleasant experiences? I hate it! I can't wait to get out of there. I like feeling a lot lighter after it, but just the fact that someone is touching my hair erks me...

I was reading an article this morning about noise sensitivity... maybe i'm touch sensitive too? Maybe I'm autistic too? Does an autistic person ever know they are autistic? Just like, does an ADHDer know they are and ADHDer? 

A psych is preparing a report and letter to a recommended psychiatrist for me to get my ADHD assessment... I don't even know if I have ADHD..

Then again, I had a 30 min meal break just a short time ago. In that time, I brought in the laundry, sorted it, folded it, put it away, put fresh sheets on my bed, vacuumed the house and had a shower to wash my hair.... is that ADHD? IDK. @Captain24  

[Snowie]

Bye @Jynx 

Nice catching up with you tonight.

@Captain24 been checking out the new lego sets they have out. Some look really cool.