I can’t cope

[tyme]

I've just caught up... what an eventful few days! @Captain24 

Hope you are okay. 

Presentation was done - all good. 🙂

I have the webinar tonight. 

I hope you are okay at work. Please take care and we can chat on your break or on Friday.

Thinking of you!

[tyme]

Ahhh @Captain24 , I gotta tell you this story before I forget. 

My niece was talking to me tonight:

N: You know a boy at school in year 6 called me a pipsqueak?

Me: So?

N: You know what I said? I said "I'm not a pipsqueak. Anyway, do you know what pipsqueak means in Latin? It means 'mouse'. And you know what? I like mice because they are cute. Mice also like cheese and I like cheese. So if you really want to call me a pipsqueak, go ahead"

Me: How do you know pipsqueak means 'mouse' in Latin?

N: It doesn't. I made it up. He wouldn't know any better. So he walked away and never bothered me again. 

Geez! I laughed so hard!

[tyme]

Btw, she gave her parents an ear full of answering back yesterday so her punishment was that she wasn't allowed to sleep with me last night. She bawled her eyes out @Captain24 . It was so hard to tell her to go, but I eventually got her to go home at about 10:30pm. 

It broke my heart... then again, I had a beautiful sleep lol

Hope you are okay at work.

[Captain24]

I’m doing ok. The indigestion has gone due to the heavy duty meds. @tyme. Hardly anyone knows that I was taken away in an ambulance. So that was good. The bosses didn’t ask me out right just gave me the thumbs up and I nodded. That way no one questioned anything. 

I asked around at work if anyone hears from the old guy from hospital but no one could give me anything. I obviously didn’t say anything. It’s not my story to tell. I relive it constantly. I think if I find out if he is alive or not it may help. My guess is that he isn’t. What he did would be hard to come back from. 

So when I finish my shift I go to the locker room change out of my boots, get my keys and get my phone. I usually check on here first up. I saw your notifications so I was reading your posts. I was walking out of the locker room and into the car park that had people in it. I burst out laughing and everyone just looked at me. 

Love the pipsqueak story! She is gold. How does she come up with this stuff. She is in a league of her own! 

Not sleeping with you is an awesome punishment. It means something to her. It must have been hard for you. But it might make her think twice. At least you got a good sleep! 

I gave Pix and Jett a chew stick each the other night. It came to bed time and they both thought that they were bringing them to bed. Jett jumped up on the bed and I quickly snatched it out of his mouth and put it up. I picked Pix up to put her in the bed and we had an argument about it but obviously I won. So I put hers up too. I climb into bed a Jett pushed himself against me as he does. Pix usually lays at my feet. She laid on the opposite side of the bed as far away from me as she could. I guess she had the shits with me! But I slept well too as I didn’t have to worry about kicking her! 

One more shift to go. 

Defs catch up Friday. 

[tyme]

Kids and furbabies alike - gold. I think they keep us going. Keeps us on our toes. Whether we're yelling at them or spoiling them, they know we love them.

I can imagine Pix holding a grudge lol. That's so funny. Jett probably doesn't get why this female gets the sh*ts coz she's forgotten about it. I know this guy who has 2 dogs. One sleeps across his neck and another on top of his head! At least my niece doesn't do that!

I'm glad to hear you had a good sleep. That helps.

Are you saying all that pain etc that you experienced was indigestion???? 

As for the other fellow - you may never know. I think it's about working through what you experienced so that you can accept that you may never know. I can relate to feeling 'haunted' after witnessing something like that. It can have a lasting impact if you don't work through it - perhaps with a professional. Maybe something to raise with your psych in the future?

Also, did you ever find out about what comm health are doing with you? @Captain24 

[Snowie]

@tyme your post made me laugh. Your niece is very much like my D.

Such a strong girl with such a sharp mind!

@Captain24 I have been following along hon. I know you have been going through so much lately.

Sending lots of 💕💕 

[tyme]

Yes @Snowie ! It was gold! I don't know how she comes up with these things. Argh... I hope your D is not too much like my niece... it would be a killer to have more than one of these kids... 

When they bite with the tongue, it hurts incredibly...

[Captain24]

Sorry I didn’t respond last night @tyme @Snowie. I slept in a little bit and then didn’t have anytime. I’ve been and done all the food shopping that I can do and have a huge job list for today so no sleep for me. I’ll regret it later! 

Pix is a funny little thing. She lets you know when she wants something or isn’t happy. She gives a real good side eye! Jett can to but I think he is ADHD. He forgets and moves on. Half the time he forgets what he is doing and does something else or he just wildly runs around with no idea of what he is doing! 

Yep.. all that pain was just indigestion. But all my symptoms and severe indigestion plus my age are all signs of a heart attack in women. That’s why they were so concerned and investigated throughly. I will discuss the indigestion with my dietitian this afternoon. 

I’ll talk to my psych on Tuesday about it and we have to work through my brother coming if I ever hear back from them. Apparently the guy posted on Facebook yesterday so that’s a good sign. This sounds morbid but I’ll keep an eye on the funeral notices. I usually check them frequently anyway. 

Nothing from comm health so I still have no idea. They shut between Christmas and new year anyway. 

Things have been a bit rough @Snowie but as everyone keeps reminding I’ve gotten through it before I can do it again. I’m just glad my psych made a special appointment for me Christmas Eve. She was concerned that it would be too long between appointments.

How are things going with you? I’m still not getting emails and stuff so I’m finding it hard to keep up. I will get myself together and stay in touch with everyone. 

[Captain24]

I have massive bruises where they tried to put the cannulas in. The biggest one is where they actually got it but the blood pressure band was on it so every time it inflated it pressed on it. I thought I had better tell mum as she would want to know where the bruises came from. So I told her.

She was out shopping and just said that she had to go. I told her that they rushed me to hospital with a suspected heart attack but it was just indigestion. No questions. No are you ok. No nothing. I know she was shopping but a little care wouldn’t have hurt. This is why I didn’t tell her.

All I’ll get is that her indigestion is much worse. That what dad use to get but his turned out to be gallstones. 

I shouldn’t expect anything else I guess. 

Maybe because I’m so tired it got to me. 

Ive done some of my list for today. It’s a real struggle though. I can’t go to bed now anyway as I have an appointment at 3. 

I know it’s not a big deal but it feels it right now. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 

That must have been really frustrating to have her invalidate what you went through and not express concern. It's totally understandable that it got to you, especially since you're tired

Is there something you can do for yourself between now and your appointment to take your mind off of things? Sounds like you've had a productive and challenging morning and it might be time to give yourself a well deserved treat. Do you have any puzzles or projects you're working on at the moment?