I can’t cope

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Nah, it's not about control external factors, but controlling how you react towards the changes in environmental factors.

Hope your day was okay today.

I read it's wet where you are... super hot and sunny here.

[Captain24]

By now with all the rain it’s not going to dry up out there anytime soon @Ru-bee. The days are only low 20’s so it’s not warm enough.

So to learn how to best react. @tyme That must be hard. I don’t necessarily need a trigger. It can just happen. But I do have to be aware of other things that could derail me. At the moment if is easy to let those things do that. 

I’ve been asleep all afternoon ready for tonight. 

It’s sooo wet here. 

[Jynx]

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@Captain24 wrote:

I do feel really out of sorts. @Jynx While it’s a good thing. It is really unsettling. 

Im glad you have so much in place to assist you when you have meltdowns. Maybe I might find that one day. How’s the new glasses going? 

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Hiya Cap!! Yep it totally is.... it's really normal if there's a sense of like, 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' or feeling like it's fake or you're just pretending... You're literally rewiring ya brain!! Takes time, feels funny, but boy the results make all the hard work worth it in the end 😊

Haha I have chosen... poorly!! Not the lenses, the frames, they don't suit me. I am gonna go back in next week and video call my partner to get them to help me pick some new ones!! I hope it doesn't end up costing me.... 

Hope you're surviving the wild weather okay darlin 😊💜

[Captain24]

That’s a bigger about your glasses @Jynx. I always make mum come with me to help.

Im having trouble with the rescripting. I’m struggling to replay it the way she did it. The sting of the memory is still gone though. I don’t really notice that anymore but I’m having an issue feeling nan and pop. 

The weather is madness. Work must have had I e 100ml of rain and it’s still coming down. The place is a mess. So much mud. I’m about to go again tonight. Hopefully I’m on a water cart so I don’t have to drive around in the mud. I hate it. 

Im not here long but how are you going? 

[Jynx]

I wouldn't be overly concerned @Captain24 - it can be easier to access these things when we're being guided by another. Perhaps it's something to try accessing again when you next have a quiet moment to yourself, really sit with it you know? The ongoing input of just, life in general, means more and more stuff is going in your brain, can make it a bit cloudy. Reckon that might be the case? 

You see your psych again soon right? I'm sure she'll help you with a refresher if you ask 😊

Oh my goodness, y'all are getting drenched hey!! I grew up on the mid-north coast, where it used to flood like alllll the time. I have mad respect for the absolute power of water when it's in full force. 

I'm doing well! I made raspberry compote out of the raspberries from the giant raspberry bush out back (that I totally forgot about, until it was soooo overgrown I can't even walk past it lol... maybe raspberries thrive on neglect!!) and had it with some greek yogurt and muesli this morning! Since my breakfast has typically been buttered crumpets or a steamy cup of coffee and forgetting to eat until lunch (woopsie), I'm all proud of myself for having a healthy start to my day!! Teehee 😉

I hope you get some reprieve from the rain!! Stay safe out there hun!! 💜

[Captain24]

Maybe when I finish my block of work and can try and sit with it like you said @Jynx. Yes a lot has been going on here with all the wet weather. I just had to walk to my truck and my feet sank in the mud to badly the top of my boots. 

I’ve snuck my phone in but service is poor

I see my psych on Tuesday. So that’s good. She will help me. That post that you helped me with said at the end ‘can you help me’ she said definitely. 

The water out here is unbelievable. I haven’t seen it this wet in ages. Yeah the north coast floods a lot. 

Sounds like a good breakfast. Did it help you feel better for the day? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oh and that's another factor!! If you're stressed from the wet weather at work, that would also make it harder to access those places and thoughts in your mind!! 

Does your inner child ever want you to go jump in the puddles or play in the mud? Teehee mine does, I went for a barefoot walk the other night so I could feel the muddy grass squishing betwen my toes, was soooo nice! 

Teehee you sneaky!! Well if I don't hear from you I'll know why, and I wouldn't want you to get in trouble!!

Aww I'm so glad it helped!! This is what community is all about, we lean on each other!! 

Hope you got good waterproof gear!! Soggy sox are nobody's friend 😖

I think it did! I certainly didn't get snacky like I usually do haha. I have been learning more about the gut-brain connection (and my new partner is a massive foodie) so it's pretty nice to find things that are healthy AND tasty 😍

Doesn't mean I don't still eat chocolate and have my coffees absurdly sweet though 😅

[Captain24]

I’m not sure I thanked you for that conversation. It certainly helped. @Jynx 

My inner child is scared. She doesn’t tell me to do those things. But I did only find her a few months ago. Maybe as we work on her she will open up more. 

So far my feet are still dry but I’m not sure if they will be by the end of the shift. 

At hospital they continually tell you about gut health. So does my dietitian loves telling. But I don’t listen very well. Maybe if your partner is a foodie it might help. I’m not a cook but I don’t see the point of making all that mess for one person. It’s so hard when you live in your own. 

You are such a free spirit. I don’t like mud but I do stand on the grass often. It was pouring with rain last night and I was standing in it. I like standing in the rain. It’s really cleansing. 

My brothers girlfriend has said that they are coming home during the Christmas break. I’m really stressed as I’ll be in nightshift and don’t want anyone there while I’m sleeping. Pix HATES my brother and barks at him constantly plus both Jett and Pix hate their dog. So do I. I don’t want it at my place. I don’t trust it and I don’t trust my brother with my two. I’m really stressed about it. I have a psych appointment Christmas Eve so hopefully she can help me with dealing with it. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 aww your gratitude is felt!! Eeeeee 😊

I kinda feel like we connect with our inner child whenever we do art, or read for fun, or skip or dance or... anything creative really!! So maybe she's less out of reach than you think 😉

Oh I get you!! I live alone AND don't have a dishwasher, my dishes are a constant pain in the rear!! I try to make one big meal each week and then just have leftovers. It legit does make a difference to my mood if I get stuck eating too much over-processed food. Think of it like... your body has to work three times as hard to get like half the nutrients. Makes me feel... muddy inside. But of course, I totally acknowledge that there's a lot of labour and mental space required to cook regularly so it's not something to be ashamed of if you have to just make it work with some take away!! 

Yessss it is so nice to stand in the rain on a hot day! 

Hmm... Do you have a safe space, a little corner you carved out to just be yours? Cos it sounds like you're gonna need reprieve when he's there. 

Something we can chat about more next week perhaps? 

Hope you don't get too soggy!!! Thanks for the chats hun, hope the rest of your weekend flies by and I'll catch you next time 😊💜

[Captain24]

OMG a day of sunshine!