I can’t cope

[Captain24]

She is an amazing psych isn’t she @Jynx I really want to see her in person next week but leaving at 4:30am to get there is too hard. To many Roos.

I couldn’t remember the word but she did call it imagery rescripting thank you. 

It’s like my head knows the memory is there and in full detail. There was more than just being unwanted. (A lot more) but my mind doesn’t see it as bad anymore. It sees me in nan and pops arms. Ps I was pops favourite grandchild. I’m one of 19! 

But I don’t get how it has changed so much different stuff over night? It hasn’t helped when I’m really tired and my mind enters that dark place. But I guess it may eventually. 

To go from wanting to end my life so I didn’t have to go to work last week to waking up with some confidence the following week was a bit of a change. 

Anyway…. How are you after your rough day? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 you know how people often use the phrase 'recovery isn't linear' to help alleviate the distress of perceived regression? Well it works in both ways. Sometimes you really do take a HUGE leap forward!! I've had epiphanies so powerful they change my entire reality. It can feel kinda destabilising at times too, so try to be patient with yourself!! 

I'm doing a lot better! Thanks for checking in 😊 I am super thankful to my partner who allowed me some space to vent and process. I also did some scream therapy (sorry kitties, even with the pillow they didn't like that, lol) and have got some notes to take to my next psych appt. So I'm working through it!! I am back to emotional baseline though - I can tell because I started singing random songs again 😋 Today's was the glasses song, cos I got new glasses! Doo be doo hey, it's glasses day!! Doo be doo bee yay time to see!! Bahaha I'm such a whacky lil weirdo. It's fun. 

[Captain24]

I do feel really out of sorts. @Jynx While it’s a good thing. It is really unsettling. 

Im glad you have so much in place to assist you when you have meltdowns. Maybe I might find that one day. How’s the new glasses going? 

[tyme]

Hello hello @Captain24  🙂

[Captain24]

Did you get your presentation done today that was for today? @tyme. Yes.. sky high anxiety! 

[tyme]

LOL @Captain24 , Yes, the presentation was done today for today. It was finished at 5pm for a 6pm presentation.

Then I have to present again next week or something.

I gave Rubes a bath yesterday so she's not as stinky. 

I watched the kids in the pool, before washing the kids...

And now, I've got the eldest in my bed.... 

I don't know how to say no. This is the first week she's with me all week during a school week.  Oh no...

In the middle of the night last night, she perks up and says "Am I sleeping right or wrong?"

She's petrified that if she sleeps 'wrong', then I'll kick her out. But that's because she sleeps DIAGONALLY and takes up the whole queen bed!!!!

Enough about me... what's happening in your eventful life?

[Captain24]

I don’t know how you do it. @tyme 

Is it the same presentation or another one? 

They smell so much better after a bath. Did you blow dry her?

I don’t know how you do it but in saying that I twist my body to make sure the dogs are comfortable! 

Did you read all my posts about my psych appointment? It’s really unsettling but good at the same time. 

Im still having trouble when I’m really tired though. 

Work was very wet and slippery but I did ok. That’s a shock. 

[tyme]

I took advantage of the sunshine today so I washed Ruby and left her outside in the sun while the kids were in the pool. She dried pretty soon.

And yes... she smells much better!

I haven't caught up with the previous posts. I will though... as you know, I was preparing tonight for tonight's presentation hahahaha. I'll go back and read them shortly.

I'm glad you did okay at work... helps that some days are better than others @Captain24 

[Captain24]

Yeah true.. it’s been a lot. @tyme. I shouldn’t be so self-centred. Sorry

My appointment was a big shift! 

A sunny day would be nice. We have rain until Monday. Like 20-40 each day! I’m on nightshift for all of them. 

[tyme]

Wowwwww @Captain24 

Thank you for sharing about rescripting. It's so so so powerful!

Continue to do it while you are 'well' so that you can do it when things are tough. It's incredible that such a shift can be done in one session. Totally incredible!

How often do you see this psych?