Anxiety is high

[BlueBay]

Long story short reg my dad @rav3n 

14 yrs ago I remembered I was sexually abused by 3 family members. When I told my mum she verbally abused me. It was horrible. I walked out hysterically. She snd dad didn’t talk to me for 4 years. 
after that we reconciled for a year then mum started another fight and we stopped talking. 
Spoke again for a year or two then they got invited to our D engagement. They refused to come and sent back invitation.   No card or gift yo them. 
last April my son came home from overseas and he wanted to see them. I also found out through my sister that my dad has cancer but they refused to tell me. So according to them I don’t know. 
my mum is a controlling manipulative narcissist. She hates me for ruining the family by staying I was abused as a child 9-12 years old. 
last contact was Mother’s Day last year. I decided to call her to wish a happy Mother’s Day. Mum answered the phone. As soon as I said it was me she - hung up. From that day I thought stuff her I’m not contacting them again. 

but my dad is soft caring and kind. He does everything she tells him. He has no mobile phone or computer. 
in previous years I’ve sent dad a birthday card to which mum sent it back. 

so I’m the bad one. Everyone hates me. I see no siblings except one. But she is not that close either. 

😢😢😢

[rav3n]

oh gosh, i can't imagine the pain this must've caused you @BlueBay i'm so sorry you were treated this way. sending you big hugs🫂

please know that you did NOT deserve to be spoken to and treated in such a way. i can see that you miss your dad dearly, i wish i could magically make it possible for you to speak to him. i apologise if me asking about your dad stirred up a lot of emotions, that wasn't my intention at all. you are so strong for getting through all this and being here, i'm really glad you've joined our forums community. 💙

i wonder if its possible to get your sister to secretly pass on a note from you to your dad? 

[BlueBay]

Thank you @rav3n 

No my sister will not get involved. She visits them but doesn’t say anything. I’ve kept the past year birthday card and Father’s Day card. I just hope that when he is in hospital that someone will tell me. He has cancer and is not doing any treatment because of his age 88. 

I’m grieving. It hurts a lot. There is so much more I could write about my horrible mother but I won’t. 

[rav3n]

@BlueBay i really hope they contact you if anything changes with your dad's health too. 

it hurts so much more when our own family members cause such pain. please do take your time to grieve, in the meantime, we're sitting with you 💙

[BPDSurvivor]

Hello, how are you @BlueBay ? Sorry, I haven't been online much. Been busy hanging out I guess. Went out for brunch today. Very interesting interactions with fellow ex-co workers. I never considered her a 'friend', but she said I was one of her two 'friends'.... 

I'm still thinking about it. Me? A friend? Doesn't make sense.

[Snowie]

Hi @BlueBay 

I hope today is going better for you hon and you feel a little more settled.

Hi @BPDSurvivor @rav3n @Shaz51 Hoping you are having a good day.

[Eve7]

Thinking of you @BlueBay @and hoping today is better. 🩵

[BlueBay]

Right now my anxiety is very high. My hubby doesn’t know how to read messages. Interprets his way and it’s my fault. 
@Snowie @BPDSurvivor @rav3n @Shaz51 @tyme @Jynx 

[tyme]

Awww @BlueBay , sorry to hear that... then again, you probably already knew that he couldn't? Did you expect better? Jokes... sorry, hard to read sarcasm here.

I'm here if you need a chat.

[Jynx]

Oh no @BlueBay what's happened? Here with you hun 💜