An honest question...

[Appleblossom]

@Eden1919 I think it is a fair point, with many aspects.

When I first joined the forum, I became aware of being interested in the responses and "likes".  I was noting them for a couple of years, but eventually let it go, and I really dont worry about it anymore.  I made the decision, to like as much or anything that had the slightest resonance or meaning for me.  I worried then that I was making my likes "too cheap". SO there goes my silly head analysing and commenting.  In the end the world is just too big, there are always people who are sicker, richer and more popular ...it can hurt though ... it is sad when some people gaining a sense of community might cause others watching to feel less than, not included or just reminded of how few supports they may have irl.

Good to read this thread.  Hope you aren't too bad ....

This stuff has been discussed before. Perhaps insecurities play a part.

Take Care

[Zoe7]

@Eden1919 Take all the time you need to work out what you need to say Hon. 

[greenpea]

@Zoe7 @Eden1919 @Appleblossom @Teej @Razzle  speaking for myself I try and answer as many posts as possible even if I cannot  answer the question I post with the support button and apologise for not being of much help. I figure that is supporting the person, in saying that there are some people that we like and others that we are not as fond off. Gee that sounded brutal but it is true. Some people that rub us up the wrong way that we have to avoid otherwise we are negatively affected .... that sounds a bit better.

Sometimes also I am just mentally and physically drained and cannot answer and wish some one would for a change. There appears to be only a few that do these days and that is a shame. If everyone did it would take the load off others.

There was a good news post that I did a little while back where I got one reply from @Ali11 . She was generally interested and we had a really nice talk about the happiness that the stories brought us. I suppose it is the quality but the quantity that matters. greenpeaxxx 

[greenpea]

@Eden1919 @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Teej @Razzle  error above I am sure you all picked up on on 'quality not the quantity that matters' greenpea. xxx

[Teej]

Yep I did @greenpea  😊. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by me how many posts you are responding to @greenpea (that wonderpea) and I have noticed @Eden1919 responding more too. 

I have seen many many periods on here where a few have held up many. I’ve also seen this issue before as @Appleblossom said. It will come up again I’m sure too. From personal experience it is good to have these conversations but it has always ended up that some members get hurt that goes seen or unseen. 

Perhaps it could be a conversation about ways to feel more supported or included on the forum as a more positive and proactive thing. I have agreed with everything that has been said in this discussion tonight. I have been thinking about it and I believe it might be more helpful if we could discuss ways of being more supportive and inclusive rather than what is wrong with the forum, which then starts to group members in unhelpful and sometimes harmful ways.The other thing I’ve learned is that we all have different needs when we come to the forum. This can be confusing. It might be helpful if we had a discussion about sharing what works as support for each of us individually. Even if we don’t know the answer to that it is something to work on individually and collectively.  I can honestly validate everyone’s point so far. It takes these conversations to discover new things and learn as we go. A community flourishes when these things can be talked about and worked through in a positive way.

Soap box no2 speech for today :face_with_rolling_eyes:.  

PS I totally agree with @greenpea in that it is the quality not the quantity of connections that is important. 

[greenpea]

@Teej  Hey Teej!  what are you doing up at this ungodly hour :D. I agree with you absolutely a positive way to be more inclusive is far more productive and thanks for the compliment much appreciated :D.

[Teej]

You are most welcome @greenpea 💜🤗. And yes I’ve let my brain be naughty and get carried away tonight. Must try to get some sleep now AGAIN. I hope you can get some too. 

[greenpea]

@Teej  Night Teej xxxx:)

[BlueBay]

Great that you have opened this discussion @Eden1919 

I tend to reply to others that I feel I can support them especially if it relates to BPD or childhood abuse. 

I feel if I was a newbie and no one replied I would leave and never come back. I would feel thst no one cares. 

Its great to see so many members form a great connection. 

We are all here for some type of support, talk to each other and we all have mental issues. We are all different and some days are harder than others to reply to others. 

[Former-Member]

Hey there @Eden1919 , as with @BlueBay  I think it is great you've opened up this conversation. You're not wrong, once any community expands (online or otherwise) sometimes mini communities can manifest, and no doubt at times feel somewhat exclusive. We definitely are here to try and support members to engage with one another more broadly across the forums, but it sometimes just happens whereby certain members have rapport and stick to their own threads. I think there's a multitude of reasons why some threads don't get as much engagement, as it is a peer space for complex mental health, there are so many factors for each member to take on board before replying to a thread. What are some ways you think we can help as SANE Staff? We're always open to ideas on amplifying inclusivity.

I can see here you've received a lot of support and insight and the community is super thankful for this conversation. Thank you @Eden1919  And remember if you would like any further support feel free to e-mail us at team@saneforums.org