hello @Former-Member
That would have been an extremely emotional night for both of you. Different emotions for each of you as you struggled to try and work out what the other was feeling.
There is no answer for "will this ever go away". People who have been through this have spoken to me about it as their choice. I have just listened and held one lady as she sobbed her heart out.
I believe that trauma doesn't leave us we just learn to live with it and learn ways of not allowing ourselves to be affected by it as intensely or as often.
A psychologist who specialises in trauma would be a good start for you; you could discuss this with your psychiatrist and get ideas from him or her. Most are willing to work alongside each other.
Whoever treats you if you could ask them to teach you some coping strategies. If your husband wants to, you may be able to include him in one of your sessions so that he has a better understanding of what to have in place for you, should you feel unsafe.
If you are a reader, there are books that you can search for at your library. These days they just put a hold order in and transfer the book from another library if available.
I would say to you, try to keep your painful story contained and spoken about with professionals only. This will help you have that feeling of being held and not as vulnerable.
Of course talk about feelings on here just not incidents. This is only my opinion. Others might disagree. The choice is yours.
keep writing, feel safe , know that you are worthwhile xx
