@Former-Member. I understand that need to have a drink to try not to think about what's going on. And then another and another. That's how I self medicate. As you know, at first it seeems like a good way of helping to numb our feelings. But in the end, it messes so much with our minds and makes it impossible to think clearly. And it makes our depression so much worse. As my Psychiatrist explained to me, drinking makes my depression worse times 10. And therefor, too hard to move out of the depression.But try not to beat yourself up over it. A lot of us self medicate in one form or another. What's done is done.
Suicidal Thoughts. Yes they scared the beejesus out of me, when I got my first thoughts last year. I didn't want to die. But I didn't want to live how I was. That was not living. I chose to go to hospital and booked into a private psych hospital. I'm not sure if you have ever been to one before, but they are not how they were depicted in movies long ago. Do you have Private Health Cover? If so, you can get a private room to yourself. I'm on Workcover and they only pay for shared rooms. But there are only 2 in a room and we share the bathroom. I've found the staff do try to match you with someone you can get along with, if you do share a room. There are lounge areas to sit and relax as well as courtyards, etc where you can find some quiet space to yourself. There will be group activities, therapy information, art and craft. It's about giving you a chance to rest and take a break from the stresses of life, while they monitor your medication and moods. At the same time, you will learn of different therapies and see which one suits you the best.
Having said all that, you don't need to go to hospital if you have suicidal thoughts. Many people manage these thoughts with the help of their mental health team. Your psychologist / counselor or psychiatrist, etc. It is important that they know that you are having SI. That way they can tailor medication (only if you need it), and therapies to assist in reducing and removing these scary thoughts. They won't automatically send you to hospital. There main consern is that you are safe and are not planning on acting out on your suicidal thoughts. Once they know you are not planning on it, then they will look at what types of therapies may work best with you. CBT or ACT plus lots of others. They also may push forward your appointments, if your next one is still a few weeks ago. This is often a big help when we are feeling so vulnerable. To have our therapists available when we are feeling in crisis mode.
If your suicidal thoughts become too strong, please don't hesitate to call LifeLine 13 11 14 or the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467. There is help out there. You are not alone. And you can move past these thoughts.
