Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Carla3]

I’m struggling a lot at the moment.

I live with my family in the country, we’re currently badly affected by the floods. We’re farmers and have lots our income for potentially the next few years. My parents are so stressed and angry at everything including each other. 
I was trying to help out yesterday but I fell off a vehicle and broke my arm. I obviously didn’t mean to do it, but my dad is making it seem like I did. He’s yelling at me and hasn’t once asked about the pain or if I’m okay. Mum took me to get it in a cast but it’s as if they’re blaming everything on me. My anxiety is higher than it’s been in a long time and I’m in pain. I don’t know what to do, I feel like everyone would be better off without me here…

[TuxedoCat]

Hey there @Carla3, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry it's under such difficult circumstances. But I hope you find our special community supportive ❤️ I'm TuxedoCat, one of the peer support workers here. 

It's understandable that you're stress is really up given what's happening. I think most people would feel like that ❤️ But what do you mean about wondering if people would be better off without you?

While I'm not a farmer or in floods at the moment, when I was young, the backpackers my parents worked at was closed for a long time because of a cyclone. I was too young to help, but I remember there being lots of arguments and emotions running really high. It was a lot. 

[TuxedoCat]

@Carla3, I've sent you an email to check-in on how you're feeling because I'm a little worried about you ❤️ 

If you're worried about your own safety, here is a link to some immediate support

I thought I'd also share a few resources that might be helpful given your situation

• National Centre for Farmer Health has some links to coping with stress and links to seeing a psychologist online
• National Farmers Federation mental health resources page
• SANE drop-in services

Take care, TuxedoCat

[Carla3]

Hello TuxedoCat, thank you for the warm welcome.

I just feel as though I’m adding unnecessary problems to my parents life by having a newly broken arm. I’m not necessarily thinking of harming myself but I do feel a little numb. It’s slightly hard to explain.

Im sorry to hear about what happened to your parents! I feel slightly the same, I’m too young to help much and now with my hand. 

[TuxedoCat]

Good morning @Carla3 ❤️ 

I think I understand. It sounds like there is a lot going on at home and you really want to help, but feel like you can't. And with your dad getting upset, it's made that worse. Is that right? 

I know it's difficult, but it sounds like your broken arm isn't something you can control and isn't your fault. It might not help fix the situation, but I wonder if that helps with how you're feeling?

I also thought I'd tag a few of our community guides for you to meet @ShiningStar @maddison @Shaz51 @Judi9877 

[Judi9877]

Hi there @Carla3 ! I’m just sending you a friendly message of welcome to the forums and to let you know I’m supporting you and that you are not alone! I see you’ve met @TuxedoCat which is great! I’m a Community Guide here and I have a lived experience of mental illness so I have some knowledge of anxiety. 

As for breaking bones, I know what this is like as I broke my right foot just before I was meant to move into a new house back in 2016 which my father tried to say was my fault which it wasn’t. I couldn’t drive for 12 weeks and that meant not being able to go out at Christmas time as I broke my foot in early October of 2016. My housemate was really great with me and I did get through it with some difficulties including having to rely on food deliveries for shopping and my father to take me to the city based hospital for check ups on my foot at the fracture clinic over the time I was immobile. A broken arm is bad and I’m sorry it happened to you. 

As for the flood situation, I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. It must be really hard being on a farm which I have the greatest respect and admiration for as I’m a city girl in Melbourne. I did have a holiday in Echuca in early September just before the floods arrived in Victoria and I really feel for all the communities affected along the Murray River as it’s a great part of the world to live in and visit. 

I really hope things improve for you! 

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️💐

[maddison]

Hi @Carla3 

How are you going today?

I'm maddison. Welcome to the forums😊

I have read what is going on for you at the moment. I am sorry this is happening.  I think you have a kind heart to be thinking about your parents. It's not very nice or fair to you that they are making you feel bad.

I think you did a really good thing reaching out here for support.

I know when I am in any physical pain, it feels like emotional or mental problems are so much harder to deal with.

Obviously you didn't break your arm on purpose! I think maybe you are seeing that your parents are being unfair - but you also understand they might be saying wrong things because they are very upset.

I can definately understand how you would feel very hurt by this.

It's really horrible☹️

Maybe, if you can, try to keep  yourself. You can write on here anytime you want.

And maybe call the numbers @TuxedoCat listed? It's good to talk🙂

Well done reaching out❤️👍

[Carla3]

Hello Maddison,

Sorry for the late reply, I’ve had a lot going on lately.

I definitely agree with you that physical pain makes the mental problems harder to cope with.

I was wondering if there are any services where you don’t have to call? Or any free therapist kind of services you know of? 

If not that’s fine, sorry and thank you.

[maddison]

Hi @Carla3 

How are you today?

I sincerely apologise for not getting back to you sooner. I had lots of messages & became confused. I'm so sorry.

To answer your question - about therapy or services (online?)

I'm sorry again!! I am terrible help for you - oh dear.

I am unsure what services would be available.

The SANE offers a guided therapy program - I am not clear about if that would be helpful?

I'm going to tag a few other members - who are smarter than me😊 & we will see if they can offer any further information for you.

@TuxedoCat @hanami 

How are things with your parents now? 

Thankyou for messaging me & no need at all to apologise. Please ask any questions you want or need. We will find an answer somehow!

I look forward to hearing from you (if you feel like replying🙂) I will keep an eye out for your message!😊

Best wishes,

maddison xx 

[tyme]

@maddison @Carla3 

Please see information to our guided service as @maddison  mentioned: https://www.sane.org/referral

You can check whether you are eligible for the service there.

Wish you all the best, 

tyme