Hey @30something
Firstly, well done on enrolling in the course and making it as far as you did, that's excellent. I can definitely relate to the social anxiety aspect, it's held me back a lot too. I'd encourage you to look at taking part in the course as an achievement, some people--cough, me, cough--don't even make it that far. I think small steps is best for managing social anxiety. You enrolled AND took part in the course. Withdrawing from the course now doesn't take away those achievements and any work you've done will still be credited. Withdrawing from the course now also doesn't mean you can never take it up again. Perhaps now isn't the right time for studying, but perhaps, next year, or in 5 years, it will be the right time. Withdrawing now doesn't mean you can never go back to it.
If and when you choose to go back to it--and you don't have to either--I'd advise you to talk to the teacher about how you're struggling with that aspect of the course. They may be able to offer you another way to gain credit, or simply coach you through, that's their job, to help you.
I've struggled a lot with anxiety, and it used to hold me back from doing a lot of things. Sometimes, it still does. I've learned though, that despite being an anxious person, I can still do the things I want to do. I don't have to be outgoing or a social butterfly to achieve what I want. I used to think only certain types of people were capable of being in those situations--like your class and doing the roleplay. But I've learned thay I CAN do those things, I just need to accept that it's difficult for me and take time to mentally prepare. I've had to push myself despite feeling pysically sick with nerves for the sake of operating a successful business. And I'd say the one thing that's helped me do it is the realisation that I can be a socially anxious person, and I can do the things I want/need to do. The thing about anxiety is it can actually be controlled, managed, conquered. This is something I never realised. I still have anxiety, and it still rears its ugly head, but once the anxiety-inducing task is complete I feel better for it. It gets a little easier to conquer every time you do it. It's often not pretty in the lead up to an event and it's definitely not pretty after when I'm recovering from the stress, but I can do it, and I hope one day you can too. You don't have to be rid of anxiety to do the things you want. I think it's more about learning to accept our fear is trying to keep us safe, but sometimes it can go too far in protecting us and it gets in the way. Fear is a valuable means to survival, so we don't want to get rid of it, but learn to manage it so we can still take steps forward and achieve what we really want in life.
I hope this helps, and I hope you are able to take pride in enrolling in your course and achieving as much as you did.
