Daily goals, motivation and check in

[Teej]

Yeah care coordinator @eth. I’m not ready for being thrown back in it all yet. I’m working towards it but not yet. I have the support from my psychiatrist but I’m scared about it all. I’m hoping to gradually step back into the real world by starting the volunteering before I work up to looking for work and working. I do want to work but know I’m not ready just yet and have a few more hurdles to get over first. My over sensitivity and emotional reactivity is still too strong to deal with it all. I hope that I’ll get some more time to move into work at the pace I need with the skills I need to do it. Thanks for the offer. I guess I just need to wait and see what transpires tomorrow. My stresshead is not very good at letting it go for now but I’ll try.

[eth]

Perhaps let them see how emotional the issue makes you - it might work in your favour @Teej.

What you describe sounds like a sensible plan for getting back into things gradually.  Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.  And hoping you find some peace tonight.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Mazarita @Teej @eth And anyone else about..

I haven't written any goals on here..just not right mindset at moment..

I like to still read and feel part of your journeys..

I know how hard it is..

I mentioned this thread to my friend @eudemonism who has occasionally found overwhelming moments..

I was hoping that you might have suggestions on how to start having the motivation to even think about goals ..breaking it down into small achievements and feeling sense of satisfaction..starting to see results and remember them when the cycle starts again..

over here eude even if you only want to read.. Be an observer...can still be beneficial..

I am in deep trouble..I have one cat laying on the ground next to where I am laying..I forgot to feed them.. 90 minutes late!,,,!!

[eudemonism]

Hi to everyone on this thread,

I am so very disappointed with the slow and steady decline of my ability to be highly active. Due too? Medication side effects? Progression of illness? Or just apart of life?

It takes quite a bit if adjusting, adapting and accepting. And it does come with a fair few feelings of: despair, desperation, loneliness, feeling abandoned, feeling trapped, feeling used and so on. Also resentment, anger, blame, bitterness, guilt, feeling like I need something or to do something. Which I'm unable to do. Feelings of being tormented, tortured, betrayed. Feelings of needing help that just don't ever arrive and is not available. Feelings of, helplessness, hopelessness. And having lost faith in humanity and like there is nothing to get on with.

Eude

[Mazarita]

Hi @Teej, @eth, @Former-Member, @eudemonism and everyone here,

Welcome to this thread, eude. I've read your posts sometimes before on the forum. You have a distinctive presence here. I too get frustrated with a perceived decline sometimes. I try to remember this is partly due to age (I'm 55). I believe there is also a degenerative aspect to the illness I have (bipolar). And I get very tired, especially in the mornings, which I think is partly due to medications. I had to come to accept a horrible and incurable physical disease when I was younger and, mainly from that, I relate to some of the feelings you describe. I hope you can find some inspiration and companionship here in this discussion.

After I posted my last message, I ended up getting out on the beach for a 2.5km walk. I also went for a dip in the ocean, the first one for two years, though I live across the road from it. And I had a shower when I got home (only a few days since the last one, usually I struggle to get in there much longer than that). I think I am improved at the moment, at least partially because I have recently had an increase in the dose of my anti-depressants. From past experience, this flush of good feeling doesn't always last as long as I'd like, so I'm making the most of it while I can. Hopefully setting in motion some better habits for the future.

[eudemonism]

Hi @Former-Member @eth @Teej & @Mazarita what's been happening for all of you today? I find it helpful to push myself into what im thinking about doing. It's just hard to navigate the negative variations of possibilities some days. Eude. Some days are good and some days are bad.

I'd like to be more active, more motivated, more confident, and in better circumstances. And I need you all to know. I really do want to be. Walking more with the dog, eating healthier, jumping on those positive thoughts and acting on them, being more pro active toward a better quality lifestyle. And so on. Eude. My days of youth are behind me now.

[Teej]

Hi @eudemonism 👋
I love your second paragraph. That’s pretty much how I feel on a good day.....wanting to do those exact same things. Some days are just so much harder at seeing that without even trying.
What have you got planned today to help tick a box on something you want to achieve?

@Mazarita I’m sorry that I’m my self absorption I forgot to show you the cartwheels of joy I was doing for your beach experience. Way to go you. I’m really thrilled for you 💜💜💜💜💜😊

[eudemonism]

@Teej I got a few options. Watch a favourite TV show. Prune a few plants and trees out the front. Take the dog to the beech. And possible have a swim myself. I'm very cautious about the sharks though. I will probably do all three. What about you?

[Teej]

Sorry @eudemonism. My day is being quite topsy turvy. I’ve had a few phone calls and unexpected things happen. I’m about to pick up my car from the mechanic. I hope to walk my dog a bit later. I hope you are getting to do all three things. I’m having a day of just holding on and riding my metaphorical roller coaster of a day., although it feels like I’ve been on a real one physically just now. Will catch up later I hope to see how you got on.
I missed a hello to @Former-Member too earlier and hope your day is ok today. If not hoping it will get better or be over soon.
💜🤗

[frog]

Hi @Mazarita Your walk and swim sound wonderful. I know what you mean about good feeling not lasting as long as you'd like. I have bipolar also and seem to spend most of the time flat or depressed. There's a blog I sometimes read called Zen Habits, and one of his themes is that making very small changes can make a big difference over time. I Hope you feel some progress on the better habits front. I never really feel like I crack lasting change; things ebb and flow but I keep trying!