Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

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@Former-Member wrote:

I came online just now to get support because public guardian rang and pretty much have decided to make dad permanent (not let him come home) I’m mixed up / jumbled feelings everywhere.

She asked me “how many steps” and gasped to hear “27steps from the footpath into his home here” x8 from carport. Her tone changed saying “I will be coming to a decision by the end of the week” - Pretty much made up her mind to make him PERMANENT by her tone.

Why hey am I upset, I saw it coming but it’s upsetting just the same, and Ive has to lay down.

Hi @Former-Member

About your Dad and permanent care - I know he didn't want to be in a nursing home - after all - who would? Dementia is a hard thing to manage and heart breaking - I have been thinking about this for years - I certainly don't want that to happen to me but when we have our wits about us we can cope alone at home with help but your Dad was losing the plot and now you have strangers in making decisions and this must be hard for you

I get it - I hear you

However if these people make the decision for you it is out of your hands - and Dad gets the care and you are not burdened with such a heavy task that I know you would like to be able to do. Your sibs can step back - those in power put him in the home and not you so they can all sit down and shut up

Could you practise saying that to them and not letting them boss you around - or try to - practise telling them that - you can still care for your dad by taking him out and making sure he gets food treats every so often - you are not just leaving him there - it's a better situation for you then - and you can take life at a better pace and leave down and get away from it all when you need to

It just seems better to me - I know you will make your choices when you can

You have had so much to deal with - I am just into cyber-hand-holding - a lot of that goes on around here

Sending hugs

Dec

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[Former-Member]

give me space dec...

you, shaz & mods have hurt me

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member 

Sorry to hear you are feeling hurt. Just letting you know I've sent you an email just to follow-up. Take care of yourself.

Mosaic.

[Owlunar]

What have I done to hurt you @Former-Member?

Whatever it was it was never my intention

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️❤️❤️ @Former-Member ......

Hearing you about your Dad and how much it hurts @Former-Member ...... you have been the best carer for him - nobody could have done more ...... Hugs n hugs Hon.

i have had tech problems accessing the forums for the last couple of days, and have to log in each time I respond to emails or to access the Support button, but I have been reading along and I hear you .....

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

Just looking for you and hoping your are coping.  Sorry that you feel misunderstood. None of us is exactly the same, so even when situations are a little similat, there will be differences too. Life is so complicated.

Sometimes when we deal with separation it can feel like being torn in half.  Anyway that is what it is like for me a lot, in many relationships.  

Just touching base with you, then I need to log off. I am seeing my pdoc.

Take Care 

Flegel - Carnation and Eggs

[Shaz51]

I am sorry  @Former-Member@,

I would never hurt you

Whatever it was it was never my intention

[Former-Member]

1. Panic having MRI machine today 2. Asthma worse re Dust Storm

3. memories of my girl 😞

4. Found $400 I totally forgot i hid

5. Found $25 on dash, thought it was friend I gave lift to yesterday so offered it back, she said it wasn't hers (which means there's nobody left but me)

6. Paid car transfer papers today, got slugged with $110 late fee because I totally forgot 

WHAT A MESS IVE BECOME, the future looks grim.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs n hugs @Former-Member ..... that’s not good.

💐🌷💕💐🌷💕💐

[Appleblossom]

Dont be so harsh on yourself. @Former-Member

Mistakes happen, especially when people are in transition.  

Life is learning curve.