Hi again
@not_fair. Your tag worked. It's so ok if you don't want to tag and instead you want to write/vent/chat to whoever. Tagging may help your message get through though and it is a way of getting to know people here. It's up to what works and feels right for you
🙂It's so understandable that you're feeling the way you are at the moment. You really have been through a lot, and a lot of it seems to have occurred in a short space.
You mentioned the need to accept what has happened and I think that's a huge step. The idea of acceptance was really tough for me for a long while (it still can be). A big part of it for me was working to accept myself as I am and trying to be ok with myself as I live in a bit of a bubble that says "traumatised" too. I think I wrote about this idea of accepting myself only a couple of weeks ago. It is recognising and acknowledging that I am pretty sensitive because of what I have been through, and things can be really shaky sometimes but it is ok that they are. Often things don't make sense and I don't have all the answers that I want. I get frustrated, angry, scared and sad, but I also have moments of clarity, joy and hope too. Sometimes I can swing between these feelings really quickly as well. It's hard going, but it is easier when I can be gentle on myself while I go through it. I found working toward acceptance of myself maybe a bit of a step towards working on accepting the situation/s. It would be such an individual thing and there wouldn't be a right or wrong way of going about it.
I can see why you'd be feeling mixed feelings about yesterday with Summer. I'm not really a dog person but I have seen that Staffy smile and it is pretty great. I know the pain of losing my beautiful girl (a cat) was immense. Many years later I still miss her and think of her.
I hope you can do something nice for yourself today. Is it a day off work for you today?
