Hello Aonaran and thank you for your reply.
I must confess to getting caught up in life myself and have similar "sock moments" too. Unfortunately, things quickly spiralled out of control following my "intrusion" and I did something rather silly. I ended up in hospital for four days, a length of time I remember very little about, before being taken into care for a further 6 nights. Yet another change of medication and whether it's just me with a brighter outlook, or the meds are actually working, I can't be sure, however I am feeling much more up-beat and currently on an even keel for the first time in months. Still not sleeping a lot, which is worrisome but hopefully that will settle in due course.
As for my friend, she was taken into care herself on Boxing day and we ended up spending a few days together. She got out two days before I did ironically. We're still friends and I bear her no grudge as she obviously wasn't in a good place when she broke into my home. She was very unwell and feared for her life. She's doing much better now, but already threatening to go off her medication once the CTO is lifted, which is a worry. I fear she'll go down hill again and end up back in care, but for now all I can do is gently support her and encourage her to stay on the meds.
No need for a apologise for not replying sooner. I've also reached a state whereby I'm never sure whether or not I should respond to posts. I know we all support each other here, but sometimes I get this feeling of "who am I to attempt to sooth the thoughts of others," especially when I can't even sooth myself.
I currently have such grand thoughts of playing my guitar again and of returning to my once favourite past time of writing short stories, but time will tell as to whether or not it happens. I intend to resign from my current position and search for work or perhaps volunteering to help younger people who struggle with mental illness. I believe I still have a lot to give in that area and my lived experience might prove insightful to some. Of course, it could all go pear-shaped in a weeks time too and I'll do nothing at all.
I know I should come here more often, but my life seems to have gone into activity over-drive. If I'm not at my friend's place and nobody is dropping in, or I'm not on the phone, then I find myself simply enjoying the peace and quiet without a computer's whirling disc drive annoying me. Time alone lately has become a precious commodity, however things might change with the seasons. Summer is always a busy time for everybody. I'll become more computer driven once the cool weather entwines me with it's icy tentacles, but for now I'll bid you all a peaceful and happy 2016.
