@Former-Member Hello Basil, this is the essence of my problem. I thought I had solved it again and it was time to move on - but it is all still unresolved.
I don't know where I should post this but, as always, it is open to everyone. I have appreciated all feedback and have loved the interaction.
This is the essence of my problem. You will have noticed that one minute I feel all is well and the next - when I again remember the dreadful predicament I am in - I am back to square one thinking I have been duped and overwhelming distress sets in again. I can't decide with any certainty which lasts more than a short time. It is so cruel that I have to attribute it to malice. To skillful intent.
I know the man he presented himself to be over so many years and that was the man who 'seemed' to do so much good work. He really sold his 'goodness' to me. But the result of his work is what brought me to this forum. My ex-psychiatrist has done such a number on me by his now absolutely, contradictory conduct that I am unable to decide if he is friend or was always foe.
It is absolutely cruel - and once again, I am thinking he has done this on purpose and is enjoying my pain. My total confusion. I was in such good health before he did this to me and he has brought me totally undone. No psychiatrist would do such a thing unless it was always his intention.
I can find an explanation for everything he has done, every piece of advice, and then another which gives an ulterior and malicious motive to it.
For this entire year I have been trying to decide how, why - who is this man I had trusted, was his decency just all an act? Does he hate women and is he seeking revenge on the patient who trusted him implicitly? If so, how do I save myself - from him - his control? How DO I move on?
It is difficult enough when one is psychologically abused by a spouse, for instance, but how do I disentangle this mess when I have been manipulated by a master of deception? A psychiatrist. He got me when I was at my most vulnerable and I gave him my absolute trust and simply never had cause to re-assess since.
How could I have been so stupid? Can we not trust anyone?
How can a psychiatrist do painstaking work on his patients - especially me as his test-case - yet on the other hand, destroy my life completely?
His financial advice has left me in dire straits. I will now never have a home. Timing is everything in psychiatry and I have to question if each attempt to reach out to my family was timed to fail at his direction.
It seems that I will never see my daughters again and that is more than I can bear. Looking into such a future is more than bleak.
Please help me. I am very frightened.
@chibam suggested a support group for victims of psychiatry. He is quite right. These matters, we victims, need just such support.
