Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

@NatureLover  No problem attraction can be a tricky concept to pin down. 

[flybluebird]

As a society we can come a long way with our awareness around this that’s for sure.
I, myself am learning & really appreciate you being open & honest with your experience and knowledge with us @Eden1919 

I can see how those types of engagements with others would get really exhausting & feeling the responsibility to have to explain it to them would take it’s toll.

I hope for you more meaningful connections with those who really ‘get it’ and I acknowledge how isolating this experience is for you. 

@flybluebird 🪶

[Campbarry]

@Eden1919  I don't really understand what you are trying to say there... of course a straight person would probably meet another strait person in their day - the vast majority of the population is straight... straight people aren't meeting straight people just because they are straight, and they're not friends with straight people just because they are straight (well some are but let's not go there) it is just circumstance. And circumstance says that you probably have met another asexual person and just not known it, but circumstance also says that you probably can't just go to a bar and strike up a friendship with another asexual person, there's most likely not going to be a way to know if someone was - maybe during pride if someone was wearing their flag or something (but I've always felt very excluded from that community personally). You have to put yourself out there - inclusive dating sites - arranging something through the meetups app in your area - arranging something through AVEN or one of these other sites that people have mentioned - university services (if your at uni for example) or other community based pro-LQBT groups etc..
I guess, even as an asexual/aromantic person myself, I've not experienced these feelings or need for connection with other similarly identifying people that you are having, and I'm really sorry that I can't help more... I guess I don't really understand what you are looking for.
But just to reiterate, you are not alone in your identity experience, and certainly not weird in any way.

[Eden1919]

ok @Campbarry  i think there has been a little misunderstanding about what i mean and that probably isnt your fault it is probably my fault but i am struggling to explain things at the moment and anyway thank you for your response. 

[Rhye]

@Eden1919 @Campbarry Ah, the joys of the online communication! There can be those "lost in translation" moments, and it's great to see when members are open to trying to bridge that gap.

@Eden1919 for what it's worth, what I took away from your post was that you'd love to be able to find people you can relate to, on your terms and in a way that is a good fit for you. If my understanding is correct then it's something I can relate to. Many moons ago as a teen I turned up to a community centre for a meetup with other young, same sex attracted, folk. I felt like I'd landed on another planet and I didn't return. Perhaps it was a me thing, perhaps it wasn't, but I knew it wasn't for me and that was okay. 

The other thing I've taken from your posts was that you'd love to not have to explain your identity to people, and to that I say heck yeah I get that! I know for many it can come from a good place, but sometimes you wish they would do some of the work towards understanding for themselves because it can feel like an additional burden having to explain in every new social circle.

Anyways, we're here, and I'm glad that you were able to reach out and express your feelings safely in this space.

Rhye ☘️

[Eden1919]

@Rhye  thank you for your understanding