Just wanted to thank everyone for your messages of support while I was away the past couple of weeks. Its lovely to know that some of you still think of me, even if I'm not around.
@Shaz51 ... you are right ... my heart was thumping and my breathing was ragged and my head was throbbing ... just as you described. I was very upset about those few posts on Corny's thread. Relaxing and breathing was not an option which was easy to do, I assure you. But your hugs, your understanding and your gorgeous pictures were comforting ... as your presence always is. Thank you.
@Zoe7 ... Very true ... you, more perhaps than anyone, are aware how incredibly difficult it is to get through a major traumatic anniversary. Especially when already badly triggered, sleep deprived, and hypervigilant and hyperaroused. Its also true that I do tend to shut down and close myself off from anybody and everyone during those times. I had hoped to avoid that this year, but unfortunately circumstances intervened. And that didnt happen. Thanks for your kind posts while I was away .. especially since I know life has been particularly busy for you lately. I particularly loved the little blinking puppy dog which said "Miss You", although I suspect that wasnt really the case.
@outlander ... you are such a thoughtful young lady .. thank you for your regular posts here of lovely pics. Words are not needed. Its just lovely to know someone is thinking of me.
@Appleblossom ... wow ... thats such an inspirational picture about the moon and the sun. Thanks so much for sharing that with me, and everyone else here who have also taken pleasure from it.
@Former-Member ... how sweet of you to think of me. A new friend, but a special one nonetheless. Thanks for your thoughts and the hug.
@BlueBay ... hello my friend. And thanks so much for visiting and posting here, despite so much going on in the BlueBay household. I'm sorry if you were concerned for me, it was never my intention. Although I did post on another thread that I was taking a break, its probably not one that you visit. So my apologies. I will try to catch up with you on your thread over the coming days. Meanwhile .. please know I care, and I am totally in awe of how you are managing to cope with a chaotic household full of people. Argghhh ... I couldnt do that I dont think. I could never underestimate how difficult it must be for you, but you are still getting through it. Well done.
@eth ... thank you so much for caring enough to check in on me a few times. Not just on this thread, but also on others. I cannot say the past weeks have been easy .. they most definitely have not been. But hopefully I am now through the worst of things and can try to get myself back on track.
@Snowie I really appreciated your post here on the 7th March. With all that you have on your plate, I'm not sure how you were able to think of anything or anyone else. But you did .. and I thank you sincerely for doing so. It really helps during the really tough times, to know we are being thought of.
@Faith-and-Hope As is usual for you ... you continue to spread love, light and hope to others in pain and turmoil. Thank you for having me on your list. The sparkly pink roses were very gorgeous, but not as lovely as the person who delivered them .. you.
I hope I have covered every one of you who have shown such kindness and care to me. I really do appreciate all of you, and also others I may not have mentioned in my above post ... eg @Maggie @CheerBear @Peri etc.
I am still not at all well, but I hope I can push through it now. At least the worst of the nightmares and flashbacks have diminished. I had a number of really bad triggers which really set off the nightmares in the final few days leading up to the anniversary of 29th. One of which was advertising about an NRL footy team playing in a nearby town, and of all days .. the 29th. So that had my stupid brain thinking that everyone from that city would be coming to this area for the footy. The name of the footy team is the city where my attack occurred and of course the 29th was the date. So silly how these things work. So my nightmares were about my rapist knocking on the door and ... well ... you can guess the rest. So very real and awfully vivid, takes you right back to when it actually occurred. So I didnt sleep more than occasional snatches of sleep for over a week. I was physically and mentally exhausted. Just the last couple of days, I have started to get a few hours sleep most nights. Although ... last night was back to zero again for some reason. Hopefully that settles down in time.
I saw my psych last Wednesday. The sale of her business is still very much up in the air, so there remains a lot of uncertainty in that area. She pushed me again to talk to my GP about going back on ADs. But I dont want to do that. At least I have at least one more appointment with her, for early April. Not sure what happens after that, although she tried to reassure me that she wont leave me without support. We'll see I guess.
Okay thats enough from me ... sorry its such a long post. Hope you manage to get through it all. 😊
Thanks to you all and my eternal gratitude for being here for me.
Sherry 💕
@Former-Member 
