I feel awful, really really awful. I've let everyone down I think. I was selected randomly (althoughI don't really think this was the case) to have all my outstanding subjects opened on the online learning portal and for me to catch up entirely. In all I had 8 assignments to finish. Some of them I had no idea what to do because I was absent from class due to illness (remember I had flu a little while ago and then my MI really hasn't been right either leading to unexplained absenteeism). I didn't get them done and now the whole class has been punished by the teacher and management refusing to open locked past subjects for students to finish and submit. I think I just failed my course! I tried really hard to do them, I really did. I got 3 done of the 8 required. I feel so damn embarrassed and really shitty. This course was everything to me and now I've stuffed it for everyone including me. How could I be so selfish? Strangely, I cannot cry over it (probably because I am still in shock over the decision). I just finished assignment number 4 just now and the teacher has said from now on she is going to be really picky about who passes and who fails. I am basically stuffed I think!
This is the last straw in my hopeless stupid life. I am sat here with textbooks open assignments being hurried and starting half-heartedly at a full bottle of alcohol. In times past I would have so easily drank it, but I am trying so hard to improve my morals with this course too (I guess I am learning something). I am not smart enough to finish community college, I'll never make it at University!
Another pipe dream washed down the drain.
End rant.
