Daughter with psychosis

[Bella191]

Hello I've joined up because I'm seeking support and advice from others who have been in a similar situation as me

I have a daughter who is 29 and currently in the high dependency unit in hospital. Just before she went into hospital it was extremely frightening .

She tried to hurt me many times.

The last 4 weeks have been hell. She has psychosis and is suffering from schizophrenia. 

Tonight I went into hospital to see her for the first time and I had a mixture of emotion I was frightened . I saw her briefly and it made me cry She looks so unwell. She is so angry it is hard to talk to her. I am looking after her 3 little dogs which she is very attached to and I'm so nervous looking after them and I'm scared to leave my house too long because my daughter has warned me if anything happens to her dogs then I won't be around anymore. This fear puts enormous pressure on me. Just want to know if anyone else has lived with this kind of fear I'm feeling. 

[David_888]

@Bella191 

I'm not sure that she hates you, rather than she is in a very dominanting mood because she is dominating her 'psychosis'.

It's like when on a battlefield.

Also I want to say that environmental electricity goes against our head and we shape this as the sub, the con and the 'suss'.

It is inherently against us however we shape it as it is.

You may shape yours as barely formed things which criticise and judge what you do. Or you may shape it as something else, but it is always against. 

If you can notice your own more then you can help her deal with hers.

It's good to hate the subconscious. But some people think they can lose a war with 'them' when they can't.

The subcon'suss' can never be here. Only an interruption. 

That's all they are.

Help her with her fight with the things against our head and how we shape them.

I'm happy to discuss further.

[Bugsbunny]

Hi I do so understand I wish I can say the right thing to help you
I live this with my daughter every day
I’ve lost family friends work and myself but some how I’m still here
When I do get peace
Even could be small amount of time I thank got because I never know what fire I’m burning out next
But your not alone I send peace and love and this shall pass I also look after my daughters 3 dogs as that’s all she has again I understand your not alone x

[scout1572]

hi @Bella191 

I am sorry for your current situation and wanted to offer some support.

I have anxiety and depression due to aspergers and have spent a lot of time analzying behaviour and wanted to my insight  re your situation.

I want to state that you are not and are never responsible for the happiness of another. You can care, try and work to help others, but their happiness in up to them.

I say that becuase sometimes effort is not enough. there are other aspects that are out of your control.

I say this bacuase i feel for your situation re looking after her pets. Do not feel like you have to have god like powers around protecting them. I am sure you are doting over them, and giving them everyhing they need. 

I am sure you need time to and for yourself. It sounds very stressful and may be very positive you leaving the immediate environment, the house to decompress. I am sure there are some bad memories in there and getting out of that space can be very helpful, especially while your daughter is away getting help.

Dogs are animals and have looked after themselves for centuries, so you going and getting a little 'me time' is both valid, and really helpful. Dont be scared to go do that for yourself :0)

...likewise, the only support in my life is my elderly mother. I realised recently that she is THE ONLY PERSON i feel safe enough around, that i can be myself with and rant and rave about my pain.

It causes her great distress, on may levels and even though she is a strong woman, it is not fair on her.

I say this becuase some, some of the anger you daughter expresses may be around you because you are the only one there still that will listen. I know that is true for me.

Mothers wear many burdons in their life,i cant imagine how hard this is. Its ok to be scared and uncomfortable. That is normal and you have support here.

Hope this helps a bit and you have a good day :0)

[Shaz51]

morning @Bella191 

how are you today 

I will tag a few members @Krishna , @Faith-and-Hope , @Bunniekins, @Anastasia  for you sending you lots of hugs 

sometimes it is very hard to remember our own self care when we are looking after others 

hello and hugs @scout1572 , @Bugsbunny , @David_888 

[Bella191]

Hello I don't know how to use these forums. I posted a lovely reply to scout in particular who was so understanding and empathic and wise. I also appreciate the lovely kind support from other members who have responded to me. I'm trying to find local support close to where I live because it's hard dealing with a family members psychosis when u also have a mental illness yourself .

[tyme]

Hi @Bella191 ,

You can tag in @scout1572 like this. You type "@" in front of their name and a drop down menu will appear.

You can tag me in if you need support e.g. @tyme  

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Bella191 and welcome to the forums.

That sense of fear you are describing is referred to as “walking on eggshells” around a person who is manipulating and threatening you by using various forms of aggression.  The ex who is still in the corners of my life was doing that to me, but I thought his severely disordered eating and exercise behaviours were the cause ….. huh !!  Turns out they were symptoms rather than the cause, but long-story-short there are counselling services which can help provide you with support and strategies to create and uphold your own boundaries, and dial down the fear.  Your family doctor is the usual starting point for a referral, and there are low cost or free support services in the community too.  Carers Australia is another good resource.

Remember to take care of you ❣️

[CriersCottage]

Hi @Bella191 ,

Wow! Psychosis is a horrid time to navigate with our loved ones!

Very emotionally draining & a confusing space.

Currently,  my 18year old daughter is under an oder & in hospital. I've worked in MH care so I'm aware of risks, outcomes, stresses & complexities. 

That doesn't make it any easier having experience.  It's horrible & scary & just devastating to walk out. 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can certainly empathise. This is my first post in this forum & I'm very grateful to have a community of others who understand. 

I too am watching my daughters dog- her life! Poor Asha misses her terribly also. 

I'm seeking support as you are too... so perhaps we can all walk alongside each other. Blessings to you and yours 🌻 

[scout1572]

hi @Bella191 

I hope this finds you well and in a better spot than when last i messaged you.

I appreciate your response to my message and thank you for taking the time to respond.

If i may add something to what i previously stated. Something i have been contemplating and although may not directly help you or be about your particular situation, but may be a useful tool for all of us on this site, now and in the future.

The hardest thing to do in this modern sociaty is tell the truth.

We all tell little micro lies constantly when asked how we are, or inquiring about others or similar and its amazing to tally up all of these little untruths we say in our modern busy lives. 

I say this because if you recognise this then you may be able to start being truthful with yourself, about maybe not coping some days, or feeling low, or allowing yourself to be in the moment without guilt etc.

Acknowledge when you are both sad and happy.

I have fought very hard over the last decade to stop micro lying to myself and have started thinking in truths. Others hate it when i do it to them... but that is their issue. I use empathy and understanding, but the truth is th truth and as the old saying goes, the truth will set you free.

I am having a better day today but have a huge issue going on that is and has been all consuming... but today is a good day, and i am brave enough to be able to admit that to myself and live in the moment.

I hope your daughter is doing ok, you and your furry friends.

Have a great day ;0)