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Marulu1
Casual Contributor

Bi-Polar

"Bipolar "
Deep in the recess of my troubled mind.
I keep a glimmer of sunshine, a ray I can find.
From the turmoil of cramped, pained, and muddled thoughts.
Comes flashes of lightening and ideas that take form.
Lots of energy, I have time on my side.
Stay awake for hours, as I ride the ‘high’ tide.
Life and soul of the party I live.
But I also know eventually, something must give.
Creative waves between desperation and despair.
Give me hope and inspiration.
Gives me art, makes me care....
Enough, for me to quickly grab hold of a pen.
Jot down my ideas, while I’m thinking along
More details emerge, as my mind races on.
The flight of ideas, so immense and so strong.
Cannot get them out of my head fast enough.
Which one should come first? The choice is so tough.
I don’t want to lose the colors, the shapes.
Of what could be amazing, would bring a smile to a face,
It's impossible for me to remember every idea.
In a mind always busy, and so hard to keep clear.
time races on, I run out of steam.
My life slows right down, almost feels like a dream.
Becoming shattered and tired, depression sets in.
I begin to collapse. And the spiral begins.
Downwards and deep to the familiar pit.
The abyss of my mind, which is always first hit.
Slow motion takes hold, like trekking through mud.
Steps become heavy, thud, thud, thud.
Sometimes it’s easier to stay this way,
but life carries on, unpredictable each day.
To look happy, not sad is a tough role to play.
When you’re deep in the pit, and dark are those days.
Up and down like a rollercoaster,
are the realities of life for the person with bipolar

10 REPLIES 10
GezzaP
Senior Contributor

Re: Bi-Polar

@Marulu1 I know exactly what you are talking about. I suffer the same highs and lows. I hate my illness. I am in a dark place at the moment. What type if bipolar do you have? I have bipolar 1. I truly hate it and am getting worse as I age. Suffer anxiety too. Can’t help it. Totally frustrated and angry at myself for feeling this way. Can you help?

Re: Bi-Polar

Hi @Marulu1
Welcome to the forums 🙂 a very warm welcome awaits you in these forums. It sounds like you are holding a lot and thank you for sharing your beautiful words with us 💛

Holding space for you 💛

fluffylight x

Re: Bi-Polar

Hi @GezzaP
It sounds you have a lot of mutuality and resonating experiences with @@Marulu1

I am sorry that the light is dimmed down right now, I hope you find lots of light in that you are not alone in this 💛

I can hear how much you are holding, holding lots of space for you if you would like to chat

fluffylight x

Re: Bi-Polar

Yes @fluffylight  I have much in common with @Marulu1  it seems. I am really struggling at the moment and feel so negative. Thanks for your support and Marulu 1 too. Thank you I really appreciate it.

Re: Bi-Polar

Hi @Marulu1 @GezzaP Know you are not alone and we at SANE are here for you to connect with. I found a story about somebody else's experience with Bipolar...Dov (sane.org) . 

Hope it is useful for you both. 🙂

Re: Bi-Polar

@Blackbird11@Marulu1 hello @Blackbird11  Thanks for the link on bipolar. I can totally relate. Trust you twoare both ok. I went to the pub for lunch and met up with a friend who I haven’t seen for ages. I enjoyed that a lot.

Re: Bi-Polar

@GezzaP Hello 😊 

Glad you could relate. It helps to know you are not alone. I'm doing ok. Thank you for asking. Lunch sounded nice!

Re: Bi-Polar

@Blackbird11 Hello to you too. Yes it is good to know that you are not alone. I had a nice day today went to lunch and had 3 beers with a friend who I haven’t seen for ages. Hope your day was nice.

Re: Bi-Polar

So so true.. such an eloquent and insightful account of the essence of Bipolar...an insidious disease.