Awareness of Women's Mental Health

[BlueBay]

Hi @Razzle

wow that would have been very tough and emotional draining writing everything down in detail.now that your counsellor has read it he will be able to help you. 

I’m similar to you where I didn’t remember my childhood abuse fir over 40 yrs and the inner child was too scared to open up snd tslk.  At times I’m still scared but I do have a great psychologist sbd she lets me just be me. At times in my session I feel I’m the the girl snd she lets me go eith it dnd helps me understand. 

I really feel for you. ❤️❤️❤️

[Jumpingcactus]

@Razzle I think it’s great you have written the journal. It’s a hard thing to do but would also be a release for you and writing things down would give clarity. It takes a strong person to do that. It also takes a strong person to see someone, it shows your trying with best efforts to seek peace within yourself and you should be so proud. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I am tagging you into this thread - I don't know if I already have and if not I am sorry

And thanks for those links you gave me - I can really use that material - I have some new ideas from those and it needs time to work through the implications but yes - that is something I am really interested in

I have bookmarked both links - atm I am dealing with "letting go" such a hard thing to do at times - after this I think the ideas of the choices we have when we can't change the circumstances - I love what the Irish lady has to say about this

Dec

Hugs

[Razzle]

@BlueBay  I’d never forgotten it, just never spoke of it.  Writing it down was extremely difficult, whenever I think back to it I always picture it as if I’m in the 3rd

person, like I’m at the edge of the room watching it all happen like a movie.  When I wrote it down I couldn’t do that, I had to put myself back into my own shoes and be “present”. It was the only way my councillor could fully understand how deeply it has affected me.  It was so hard not to let myself slip back into the 3rd person, it’s made it all so very real again.

When I first started councilling I kept referring to myself as a child as “that girl”, that was easier than talking about “me” even though we are the same person.  Sounds confusing I know.

Its not great to hear it out loud though, reading it is one thing, hearing it is quite another.

[Razzle]

@Jumpingcactus  Thanks for your reply. I’m not sure I could have done this without my councillors support.  Writing it down has stirred up a lot of the old fears, irrational now of course, but there seems to be a part of my mind that will always be in fear.

Ive never had anxiety before, but for the last 5 or 6 months I have been consistently in a fight or flight mode.  That is the reason I’m seeking help, I’m just not functioning properly like this.

[Jumpingcactus]

@Razzle Took me years to figure out fight or flight syndrome, turns out I was very good at flight not fight. Anxiety is horrible experience. Don’t wish it on anyone to be honest. I actually had an attack this morning, quite bad with a heart beat at rest of 120 beats per minute, I have a Fitbit blaze for that reason, just to monitor it. Felt I wasn’t able to breathe. Almost feels like your heart is about to shit itself. Just have to remember to breathe and take a moment to collect positive thoughts. Today I had to make a decision, go to the hospital for assistance, or see if a friend could put up with me for a few hours in order to calm down. She was such a good help. I’m lucky to have her. If only my husband knew though.

[Razzle]

@Jumpingcactus  I can feel and hear the blood rushing through my ears.  My heart beats so loud it’s like it speeds up and then misses a few beats, it sucks the oxygen out of my lungs and I have to take some really deap breaths and try to calm down.  I’m shaky and feel panicky - for no reason.  It happened yesterday in the supermarket, there was no reason for me to be afraid.  It’s so frustrating because I just can’t stop it and I can’t get relief from it.

[Jumpingcactus]

@Razzle Yep I know right, I was blow drying my hair when mine hit.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Jumpingcactus@Razzle@BlueBay@Shaz51@utopia@MorningSilence@Maggie@Former-Member@Former-Member@soul@Zoe7@Sans911@MoonGal@Sophia1@Exoplanet@eth@frog@Former-Member

I am sorry Peeps - I feel as if I have abandoned you but I haven't - I needed an hiatus because of more computer issues and then family business and I had a break 

But I will be back - as usual Fridays are busy but I got up early to write and catch up a little and I am thinking of my next subject which might be about Choices

I don't know where this is going but I am getting some pretty good responses here and maybe if we have the chance to share our ideas it helps

Interestingly - my cousin - overseas - has started his own Blog on Depression - I didn't know he was depressed at all - because we have only been in touch on line for years it was something that slipped past but we have been emailing with each other for a couple of weeks now - each of us doing what ever we possibly can on line - this is remarkable 

I hope everyone is as well as they can be - look for a sunny moment - it can make a difference for a day that might be really bleak - I feel a lot better than I have for several days

Dec

[utopia]

I hope you have a lovely day @Owlunar