Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Mental Health Carer Forum
@Mazarita I hope you feel more settled today. 
It is difficult with friendships.
I often get in over my head with needy people and have trouble setting boundaries. I did a lot of work for many years in charitable/social work context and I am learning to see the difference between the relaxed mode of friendship and the helping professions. I am learning to hold back rather than go into "rescue mode". I am working on balance for an easier 'give and take' that is supposed to characterise good friendship. Idk!
I guess the forum is my practise ground. Thank you ALL.
@PeppiPatty Thanks so much Bella. It really helps me. I was so raw and testy and open in those early days. Time getting to know people is so important, and you hung around.
Dont worry too much about lecturers, they are often overworked. You have your permission for extensions and so enjoy the coursework. I am always happy to chat about study.
@eth @Exoplanet @greenpea @Teej @CheerBear
Have a good day.
I am heading across town
for a psych appoint and a sing.
See you tomorrow.
Golly @Appleblossom
I KNEW that you would get it in the right words......
What you write to me and Maz.
That's @Mazarita.
What @Appleblossom writes is completely me. Mr. Buddha and I are always getting into tiffs because I immediately get over my head in friendships with suffering people. There are a lot where I live .......because we live right next to a Psych hospital.
You write about my lecturer is .....overworked.....thank you. At least I'm passing the assignments, they are for Sociology and my average is Credit mark.
That rescue mode is a job for people who have that terrible awful gene of "caring" in em.
Apple, As far as I remember, you were having difficulty telling your story and it was so so over-the-top....I don't think I've ever ever heard a more tragic tale....It took many months before I could piece together your journey.....it was very very interesting for all of us to understand and let it go.
Then I fell in friendship and care for you once I understood the journey, not that I didn't before but it was easier to fit all the pieces together.
xx
I had to get my story out somehow @PeppiPatty for me, for peers, but also for those working in the system. It is important that MH workers know the long term trajectory and not just rely on the Minnesota twins or Finnish studies. Time for more Australian studies. We have the infrastructure now.
Re studies ... I was not a ttalk to the eacher person as I had to run off to collect bubs. So I just submitted. They do have to be fair and have justification for marks.
@PeppiPatty Its really great you are studying again. You deserve it and time away from relationship stuff. It will be better for Little Buddha, enable him to be more independent. If you cant study at home, take off to the library and surround yourself with positive energy. He will benefit from your growth and happiness and achievement.
There is a lot of positive give and take here on the forum. We have hard times but sharing is so important.
I was so isolated when I joined. I could not have built what I have now without peer work & support.
@Exoplanet is very groovy. A love a lady who is that practical. I am not anymore, but I take my hat off.
Moseying along ... is good.
Good afternoon all. Got home from the doctors not long ago. She recommended an over-the-counter spray for a very dry mouth I have been getting. The dentist tells me it's leading to a fairly fast degeneration in my teeth. I am lined up for nine fillings starting in a week or two. I've never had so many fillings in my life. We also talked about pains I've been getting near my temple, gradually increasing in intensity and frequency recently. She thinks it could be rumbling from the trigeminal neuralgia I had about 2000 (a truly terrible pain condition). I'm to mention it to the neurologist I'm seeing in a couple of weeks about my legs and feet. I've mentioned before that I may have peripheral neuropathy, and will probably be tested for this. It may explain the years of feet and lower leg problems I've been having, and hopefully lead to effective treatment. In addition, it seems possible, perhaps likely, that I have sleep apnea. We both agreed however that there's not much point in me doing sleep studies because I already know I would not be able to tolerate the claustrophobic feelings of wearing a mouth guard or using a cpap machine (let alone the expense of these things). So I'm just going to live with it, despite the risks and the poor people who have to sleep in my vicinity and tolerate my house-rattling snoring, lol. Finally, I seem to have lost some weight. The doctor weighed me and it's below a level I know I was at some time ago. So maybe, just maybe, all the recent medication changes are starting to pay off in a little weight loss. With all these appointments and treatments I've been having lately, I almost feel like a full-time health care consumer! 
@Teej, I hope you do go to the break place. Perhaps your holiday with your friend could be next school holidays? I suppose though that it depends how short the break is at the break place, and how long the break with friend might be. Also whether one would be more relaxing than the other. Look forward to hearing what you decide.
@PeppiPatty, wonderful memory, making those videos from your poetry. I've since discovered that SANE has tightened their anonymity requirements and I am no longer allowed to post them around the forum. They are there somewhere in the archives though if anyone can find them. Perhaps it's destined to remain a happy memory for us both, dear heart. In regards your lecturer, I might contact her again to confirm that you will be able to get longer time for assignments to reduce stress. I find her answer to you really unacceptable, and might be willing to go 'above her head' to university administration, if she is not willing to make allowances for you even with a doctor's certificate. I would feel very annoyed by her too. Hope it works out well and in your favour.
@eth, what's a 'path test'? I hope you have already had it and have been able to eat after your fasting. Vapes are pretty easy to use once you get the hang of it. It probably took me a few days to start working out how long to press the button for (depending on how much vapour I wanted to inhale). Just don't drop it like I did! Just to say again, that you have done so well getting through that stressful meeting yesterday, and the leadup to it. Hope you hear very soon about what has been approved for you, and that it is as much as you asked for.
@CheerBear, I've never caught an Uber. I somehow feel safer ringing taxis, despite the extra expense. Not sure if there is any rational reason for it, but that's how it is for now. Have you heard anything about your DSP appointment. I guess you will let us know as soon as you get word on it. Keeping everything crossed for you. I slept well again last night and am not as highly anxious to the point of paranoia, as I was yesterday. Still thinking about the situation a lot though. Won't do any more until/unless the woman rings me again.
@Exoplanet, you and me both feel for the woman I've been talking about. Maybe not yesterday, when I was in the grip of huge anxiety about it. But overall, I do have kindly feelings towards her and wish I was a better person to be able to take her on and possibly help. Or else just be a light friend to hang out with when we are both feeling lonely. But I don't think that latter is really going to be possible with her. She is very intense (as am I). I agree that honesty about my anxieties is probably the best way to go. I will try as much as possible to emphasise that it's my feelings that are the problem and try to minimise the feeling of putting it on her. She really seems like she has enough on her plate without feeling rejected on top of it all. It's hard, but with any luck, we can both be okay through this difficulty. I think it's great, and very impressive in relation to your social anxieties, that you stopped and helped the car. You rock. Love to you.
@greenpea, I too have probably been as scary to other people as I was of this woman yesterday. It is sad both ways. I could use more friends to break up the great monotony of my empty days, as I'm sure she could too. I just don't think this one is meant to be.
@Appleblossom, you've hit the nail on the head with 'getting in over your head' with needy people. I have done this too often in my life and then suddenly freaked out and backed away at 100 miles per hour. It is a character flaw in me, or more precisely, something to do with my mental illness, especially my social phobias and tendency to paranoia and overwhelm. The forum is a good practise ground for me too with social contact. I'm a lot better with casual or group meetings than I used to be, can even seem to be rather socially adept in those situations (such as art group or talking to people at bus stops). My fears seem to be greatly activated when I try to make better friends with people. It's something I still need to work with and want to talk to my psychologist about it when I see her next. My life does contain a string of lost friendships. Not proud of it. Hope your psych appointment is helpful today and that your sing is happy, free and invigorating.
Hi to anyone else passing this way today. May the afternoon and evening be friendly to all.
Hi @greenpea 
Yes, the nine fillings. I have four filling appointments over two weeks coming up, and then more appointments still to be made after that. Mostly I am just glad they are going to be done, as the decay is visible near the gumline of some front teeth. The trigeminal neuralgia is not affecting me at this stage with severe pain (as it did for about a month back around 2000), but we have to watch in case there is an increase in symptoms. Sleep apnea doesn't really affect me that much (can't hear myself snoring, lol), and if I've got it, I would have had it for many years (cos I've been snoring a long time, apparently). I actually feel at the moment like I'm in better physical health than I have been for a while. But it's true, I do have quite a suite of health issues. On really positive news, the test I had a while back for endometrial cancer, came back clear. Yipeee!
How are you today? What have you been up to lately? Any walks? ox
