14th year house bound

[peace]

@Jacques just wanted to congratulate you for being able to push on thru all that fear and get to the dentist. Wow well done. An inspiration to me.
I like the way you write too. ☺

[Jacques]

Hi @Former-Member

maybe you are right, i just can't seem to see a way out of my prediciment, i have lived this way for so long, all my life now i think about it, i was wondering if you have read a book by Norman Doidge called the The brain that changes itself, it is a good read, even though i can't see how it would work for me, it is about Neroplasticity and how we ca nreprogram our brains to not fear things we always have.

i know their are many people who can relate to what i am saying, but it is so exhausting to be in a constant sate of panic, i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time, before i have ot sleep, then i constantly wake up with full on panic attacks, and the cycle starts over again.

i know the old adage that if you always do what you have done nothing will change, but what if you fear change, i live in a bubble my own world where i am in total control and i fear letting it go, allowing others to make decisions for me.  i have allowed others to make decisions for me in the past and it has been catastophic at best.

please don't stop talking, i like what you have to say, vand i enjoy talking to you, this forum is the only place i have someone to talk to, i have no one else.

Take Care

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi @peace

Thankyou for the kind words, but it was out of nessecity, i don't think i would have gone otherwise.

Yes i have grown up with computers and learned bad writing habbits, my spelling is terrible from it, but i am forcing myself to write properly again, trying to use proper words instead of abreviated ones and use proper grammer. 

Thankyou for writing to me their are so many nice people on here like yourself.

Take Care

Jacques

[Former-Member]

no i havent read that one, i've read the boy who was raised as a dog by perry. I've researched more about it since then but i'll look that one up. Thank you. I completed a few extra years of study a few years ago now and i really miss access to the uni libraries! books are so expensive! and i still prefer to have a book in my hands rather than electronic copies. I'm sure my kids will roll their eyes at me about that one day!

im not sure we ever know what we are capable of until we have to be/do. And its more with hindsight afterwards that we realise that we really did have to be just that strong to do something. But i think/hope that that strength is always inside us, we just have to unlock it, somehow, more purposefully than waiting for times where its unlocked just to survive an event. 

I was wondering if you have seen your dr about the tiredness you have? Might be a good idea to get checked to make sure its not something that they can help with.

Things in my life are completely overwhelming and i've been so stuck. theres so much going on that i've just kind of become frozen, terrified to leave the house and cant bring myself to open any mail or ansewr the phone. I think if i stay here in here, its safe, and like you said its controllable in here. Im lucky that i have kids, not sure my kids are so lucky to have me.. but i do have to go and drop one off at school everyday, but i dont have to get out of the car or anything so its ok at the moment. but i know i have to get through this because they need so much more than this house and school and deserve that. 

Hope you're having an ok day, getting some rest and staying well. 

LJ

[Alessandra1992]

Hi @Jacques and @Former-Member<br>Just thought you might want to know that teeth grinding and jaw clenching is a common side effect for some medications. My dentist told me about thus years ago and once I came off my meds my jaw clenching and grinding stopped .Hopefully your dentist might be able to suggest a mouth guard at night, when I was still grinding my teeth, the mouth guard stopped further damage. I talked like the British comedian Dock Emery with it in so I only used it once I was ready for bed..

[Former-Member]

Hi @Alessandra1992,

yes, ive heard that too, but i think i've done it for a long time (longer than i've been on meds i mean) when i was a kid i ground my teeth in my sleep, i've never used a guard because i cant stand the feeling of it in my mouth. But i should probably get a check up at the dentist and have another go.

Thank you!

LJ

[Jacques]

Hi @Former-Member

Do you have a town library, i am sure you do somewhere, we have one and i am in outback NSW,  i have never been to a library, but i get all my books electronically, i love books in paper too, you are right their is something about the smell and feel of a book, but don't have the space to store them, i have 3 bookshelves full and can't add any more.

i agree, i only ever do anything only if i am forced to, over the years i have set myself small goals, but to no avail, i just can't seem to get out of this slump i have been in for 14 years.

no i have not seen the doctor, i only go once every 6 months to get anxiety medication, it is too anxiety provocing for me.  i have always hoped i have a terminal illness with the constant tiredness, so i can go sooner rather than later, you are lucky to have children to keep you going, i have only my mother, their is nothing else in my life.

i am so sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment and i do the same with driving i am ok driving as long as i don't have to get out, it is like a safty blanket the car i suppose is an extention of home.  i can answer or make calles at all, everytime the phone rings i shake uncontrollably until it stops, and mail, well i don't get any, i help mum pay her bills but have none of my own.  i suppose i am protected from the outside world by her and i am so greatful to have her as my mother.

i am sure your children love you and they don't regret anything.  i am sure you are doing the best you can.  i hope by having something to strive for (i.e. giving the children something more) you manage to succeed in getting through you illness and living life again.

Take Care

Jacques

[Alessandra1992]

I didn't like it either but it protects your teeth from breaking each other..
I also did progressive muscle relaxation to learn to relax my jaw..it was very helpful too 🙂

[Jacques]

Hi @Alessandra1992

Thankyou so much, i never thoguht of a mouth guard, now you have mentioned it, it makes sence i am not sure mine iscaused by medication as i have done this my whole life, and i only started on medication about 2 years ago.

i grind and clentch my teeth all day, not so much when i sleep so i would have to wear one all day, wich i suppose would make no difference as i never leave the house.

Anyway thank you for the tip, i will look into it.

Take Care

Jacques

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @Jacques, progressive muscle relaxation is pretty easy to practice too..and you get to practice it sitting down or lying down..maybe @NikNik might be able to post a link to what progressive muscle relaxation is? You get to clench your jaw, and then relax it..but that's not all..you get to grown and relax, clench your tors, and relax, then your fists..and your calves.. Anyway it is very helpful for getting used to what unclenched feels like 🙂