14th year house bound

[Appleblossom]

@hiddenite

I also hold myself rigid a lot everyday .. you are the first person you I have met who does that too ... been doing it for years ... started doing it in the car ... but learning to just notice and quietly let go .. .. til the next time ...

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

Yes i do the same, i think it is our bodys way of coping with trauma, it will take some time for you to proccess the past few days.

OMG Karen i do the same thing, i can go days without talking to mum, i don't want to worry her or snap at her because i am frustrated, my anxiety when i try to sleep is so overwhelming that i get so exhausted that i eventually fall asleep, it usually takes me now about 1 1/2 - 2 hours to get to sleep each day.

It is good you are picking up of your body going rigid, i am learning to notice myself tensing up, i then try to relax my whole body, this sometimes has to happen 5-6 times an hour, but at least i am noticing that i am doing it.

Karen their is always a straw that breaks the camels back, you have been building up your emotion for a while now, this was just the straw, now it is time to recoop, and refocus on getting some other help, or changing your daily patterns to do something kind for yourself or something to distract yourself, i know how hard it is, i seem to go through so many cycles lately, up and down.

Karen you have so many more responsibilities than me, you have your 2 daughters, a house and trying to care for yourself too, i don't know if i would be able to do what you have done up till now, you are an amazing person, to be able to battle on every day is remarkable, please be safe my angel.

I am always here if you want to talk or have a friendly shoulder to cry on.

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi @CherryBomb,

I don't know what i do, anything really to destract myself from what is going on, total isolation.

[CherryBomb]

Heya @Jacques,

From what I can see of you, I reckon you have some skills to cope. Whether that is distracting yourself, providing support to others, talking about your experiences, reading up on info, watching your favourite TV series (I forgot the name of the one you're watching at the mo),  taking a shower, or going into your safe space. Be your bestfriend, perhaps trying being who are for Karen, for yourself. If that makes any sense...

[CherryBomb]

Thought I'd respond to this:

---

@hiddenite wrote:

Hi Nik

The girls psychologist wants them to take part in a double blind research. It looks at helping them with their trauma. I don't want this to happen I don't want one child to benefit and not the other. They are not listening to me and putting a lot of pressure on me to agree, they won't accept that I don't want the girls to be put through it.

My psychologist has put me with someone else. I don't know them or met them. I can't trust, again. I am unable to make eye contact with people and shake with anxiety. It's gets so bad I can't even talk.

I will not make the mistake of trusting anyone again

---

Hi @hiddenite/Karen,

I just want to clarify the purpose of double-blind research. It means neither the person delivering the intervention or the person receiving it know that they are getting what principle resarcher believes is going to be. So yes, there will be participants who will miss out on the intervention that is getting trialed. But this helps in establishing whether something is going to be effective as provides something to compare it against (I hope this is making sense).

Another thing to consider, is that research cannot harm the participants who don't receive the 'good' intervention. This means that although, some participants miss out, whatever they are given can't harm them. In fact, often the other condition provided still can help the participants. For instance, I once read about a project that was testing a type of therapy over the phone, the other conditions that were created were self-help manuals only, or just general telephone counselling, or nothing. So in most of these other cases, the conditions the participants were given could provide some benefit. 

Ethically, my understanding, is that once the study is done and the intervention is validated as being helpful, then the participants who missed out on the intervention should be given an opportunity to receive it. Is this something you can clarify with the researchers?

Hope this helps somehow.

CB

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @CherryBomb
Good good reply
I hope @hisdenite knows how we care about her and children. She will always make the right decisions about her daughters

[hiddenite]

Hi cb

Thank you for your response, it makes things a bit clearer now and I will have a list of questions for my next appointment. 

I also need to consider that it is a 3 hour trip and the girls will also miss out on school.

The girls really struggle when their routine is changed, it increases their anxiety.

Also my other concern is am I well enough to manage the commitment. Along with all my other appointments.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, treating team, pediatrician.....

I appreciate your time

Karen

[CherryBomb]

Hi @hiddenite/Karen,

Glad the info was somewhat informative, and that you have some questions to ask them. Seems like there's a bit to weigh up. What I'm picking up on is that you're trying to weigh up if it'll be more stressful than helpful for both you and the girls. It's a very important to question to ask yourself when making a significant comittment. 

As @PeppiPatty said earlier tonight, you're a good mum, and I'm sure you'll make a decesion that's in their best interest. 

Let us know how it goes, and of course feel free to talk it through. 

[PeppiPatty]

Can I have a chocolate ?

[Jacques]

Yes, but not the turkish delight.