Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Looking after ourselves
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
12-10-2020 03:36 PM
12-10-2020 03:36 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Hey @SJT63
I am so happy to her you've had a lovely weekend!
It makes such a difference doesn't it!
xx
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
14-10-2020 09:27 AM
14-10-2020 09:27 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Silverfox @Faith-and-Hope @HoneyOne @Carlachris
Three days in a row.
Three days in a row of no eruptions of temper.
Three days in a row of him coming to bed before middnight and sleeping through until dawn.
The last time this happened was April. (I checked my spreadsheet) In all fairness we did manage 2 days in July.
I've probably not mentioned my spreadsheet before - it's perhaps a little embarassing - but useful for me when I'm reporting to his doctor or just to reassure myself that he is "himself" more often than not.
I started to explain how the spreadsheet works but deleted it - it's a bit geeky - but it translates to a graph where I can see what % of each week/month he has been "himself", "busy" (euphamism for not sleeping), "sad" or "agro". In a bar graph you can easily see the cycles.
Anyway - three days in a row!
much love
S x
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
14-10-2020 10:54 AM
14-10-2020 10:54 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sounds pragmatic and practical @SJT63 ..... mood charts are just as important as medication charts, and graphs are really helpful for a snapshot into what is happening. I am sure the docs appreciate it as much as you do ❣️
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
14-10-2020 11:04 AM
14-10-2020 11:04 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Small steps forward @SJT63 , I had Mr Darcy filling out a mood chart but also give my observations to treating team. Gosh, I do hope this is the right med for himself. As MI is cyclical, there will still be days BUT not so high and not so low. Took me a couple of years to be able to relax that Mr D was truly not suicidal.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
14-10-2020 11:37 AM
14-10-2020 11:37 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
BTW @SJT63
Mood / sleep charts are "best practice" as they are the psych parallel of blood tests. In our case they showed Mr D had increased stability once certain meds were discontinued.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
14-10-2020 10:06 PM
14-10-2020 10:06 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
I think a spreadsheet is a great idea. Whatever works. 3 days in a row thats goid to hear. I know exactly what you mean. The anger....why the anger? Why do they rage so much? My hubby wont let Me watch Tv in peace he has to talk the entire tine and rewrite everything verbally especially the adds as if they can hear him........always angry always dissmissive and rude as if he knows better than everyone else about everything......And he wonders why he is tired all the time. Its exhausting so I turn the TV off and just walk away. But his temper needs an audience unfortunately its usually me. Worse if he is on FB his comments are dreadful. He uses it as a platform to hate everything. It really worries me as he gets hate emails. Thats when i hide his ipad or muck up the internet connection at the modem then the insomnia starts. ...arrrrgh....... Anything for a bit of peace.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-10-2020 11:49 AM
19-10-2020 11:49 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
@Carlachris @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @HoneyOne @Silverfox @Shaz51
A WHOLE WEEK.
In fact, according to the spreadsheet the last time he had even a mini-meltdown was last Saturday afternoon (17th Oct - not the Saturday just gone).
ALL HAIL THE NEW MEDS!
We did have a minor "beanie" incident during the night last night but that was kinda my fault for contradicting him about who'd put the ceiling fan on. If I'd been properly awake I wouldn't have said anything and we would have just gone straight back to sleep.
He has come back to me. The alien who spits fire has left the building and been replaced with my gentle and loving partner. According to my journals this episode began with a definite trigger on May 26th and began to ease on October 1 (2 weeks after new meds). I call time as of October 10th (1 week after dose increased). That is just shy of 20 weeks of dysphoria/mixed state. No wonder we were both exhausted.
The last episode like that only lasted about 5 weeks and resolved itself without medical intervention.
I know there will be mini meltdowns along the way - the longest he's ever gone with no black marks on the spreadsheet is 12 days; mini meltdowns I can handle without breaking step. Take a deep breath, don't argue, wait an hour... and he comes back. What we've just gone through together was truly awful. I say "we" because I have no doubt that the turmoil and anger feels even worse from his side.
We fought the good fight and we got there. I know there will be other battles, but so far.. Bipolar ....nil, SJT&Friend... 2
Much love to all xxx
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-10-2020 03:23 PM
19-10-2020 03:23 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
01-11-2020 03:12 PM
01-11-2020 03:12 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
hello @Silverfox , @Former-Member , @SJT63 , @Carlachris ,
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
04-11-2020 01:52 PM
04-11-2020 01:52 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
hello my love, we are still having our ups and downs, as we always will, but on the whole life is back to what we call normal. Yes I left for work in tears again this morning because of the failed 5am rumpy that went awry because his water bottle was empty - but that is our normal. I know everything will be fine when I get home and for several more days.
Mr is finally booked into seeing a pschologist. The one the presribing psychiatrist referred him to was going to be too expensive, but the lass I've been seeing on and off since the last partner died is happy to bulk bill him. I, of course, will step back from any therapy while she is seeing him but I'll be ok if he's getting help.
For the most part we are livin' the dream again, only spoilt by the fact that I have to go to work. However, I've almost finished my celebrancy training as part of the grand master plan to give up the office work by the time I'm 60 (about 18 months) and do weddings, funerals and make hats.
Keen to hear how you and Mr Shaz are going xoxox