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Looking after ourselves

Tiredmumof4
Casual Contributor

Lost

I really need to talk in a safe space but I'm not sure where I belong. I have a 21 year old daughter with BPD who no longer lives at home. So I don't really fit the carer or lived experience groups. I'm exhausted and I'm sad and I have no idea where to get help. She was doing so well and now we are back to jealousy (of her younger siblings), narcissism and verbal abuse.
I need help.

7 REPLIES 7
River9
Senior Contributor

Re: Lost

Hi there @Tiredmumof4,

Thanks for reaching out here on the Forums. You are not alone in your experience as parent of a child who experiences BPD. It is understandable that you are exhausted - I can imagine it would be very difficult to see your daughter go back to a negative place after having been doing so well.

You might be interested in heading over to this thread to read about other forum members who have loved ones with a diagnosis of BPD. Here you will see links to other carers that are in a similar situation to you and as well as a link to a podcast that may be of help to you. It would be worth checking out and may be an opportunity to connect with people who have shared experience and can relate.

Take care,

River9

 

 

Determined
Senior Contributor

Re: Lost

Hi @Tiredmumof4, how are you doing today?

Just wanted to drop by and let you know you had been heard. While we have different situations (I am trying to hold things together for  my wife who has BPD) I totally get being exhausted and sad and where too next.  I've been in hiding for a bit but happy to listen if you need someone to talk to. 

Re: Lost

We can still care for people even if not living with them and as a MUM that might never end. So putting in self care and time for your needs is important.

Sibling order and family dynamics often take a long time to work through.

Gentliegh Bentleigh

Apple

 

Jayne2
Casual Contributor

Re: Lost

Hi

i understand how you feel exhausted and sad. My 30 year old has a mental illness and it has affected me 100%. I am depressed and miserable. It's so hard too see your child struggle, it breaks my heart and I can do nothing. I know how you are feeling 

Jayne2
Casual Contributor

Re: Lost

Hi

i understand how you feel exhausted and sad. My 30 year old has a mental illness and it has affected me 100%. I am depressed and miserable. It's so hard too see your child struggle, it breaks my heart and I can do nothing. I know how you are feeling 

jayne 

River9
Senior Contributor

Re: Lost

Hi again @Tiredmumof4, @Determined, @Appleblossom and @Jayne2,

It sounds like you all have something in common in that you have all been affected as carers or family of someone with mental health issues. I understand that your experiences must at times be very difficult. I'm wondering what you may all do to look after yourselves? Maybe some of you may have tried things that others haven't...

Look after yourselves,

River9

Jayne2
Casual Contributor

Re: Lost

Thr best way for me is to walk alone in the countryside, in the fresh air and in natural sorroundings. Away from crowds and conversation. I always feel a little better albeit short lived. Sadly I reject company as I have no energy for conversation when I am so sad.
I go through the motions of life, so sad that my Son is struggling. I would give my life for him to he happy.
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