Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

[Former-Member]

[Smc]

@Former-Member, I think one thing carers forget is it's not just doing "random acts of kindness", but being willing to be on the receiving end too. It's too easy to feel like we need to be the ones who are always "giving".

A few days ago, a friend offered to shout us a cuppa at a nice local cafe. Both the cuppa and the chatter over it were very enjoyable. 🙂 But yeah, I think both Hubby and I had to swallow our initial "Oh, you don't have to do that for us" reaction.

[Shaz51]

understanding what you mean @Smc , @Former-Member 

but mr shaz would of said "no " straight away and walked away  leaving me saying "sorry "

[Former-Member]

@kayjee

In this discussion thread you might pick up some tips here in relation to self care which help ward off some of the negative emotions we can feel.

What type of things do you enjoy doing?

[kayjee]

I like to fly microlight aircraft, something that will cause my wife to get anxious, so I have in our married life just done it a couple of times. I like driving off the road and that means driving in patches that have no phone signals, again that gives my wife anxiety, so I have only done it 4 times thus far, the first time was with the wife and son and she got so scared that we aborted the trip.

Some day I shall be able to do all of it, but till then I keep happy just working hard on my small business making sure that I deliver what I promised my clients

[Smc]

Hi @kayjee, good to meet you.

Maybe we should ask what else you enjoy that's not a source of anxiety for your wife? I think we all know what it's like to have to put some things on hold due to carer commitments.

I get sad and sometimes frustrated over the creative pursuits I've had to put aside, for example, but am very thankful that I can still enjoy gardening.

[kayjee]

Eating out

Travel

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @kayjee and welcome to the forums 👋

[Former-Member]

@Exhaustedmum 

You might pick up some hints in this discussion thread.  My husband & I have recently moved to be closer (but not too close) to family, a bit too early to say how this will work out in practice.  Grandparent support can be invaluable if they are willing and able to help (you might need to check that).  Of course there are the financial considerations of a move to take into account, this can often be a factor.

Mental illness does impact on relationships I found I needed to be intentional in nurturing my relationship to my husband not only for him but also for myself. Allowing ourselves permission to grieve the losses as a result of his MI diagnosis  in our own ways.

@kayjee How are you going?