Welcome to the Friends, Family and Carers Group Hub! Introduce yourself here 🙂

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing a little about what's been going on for you @Kontessa87 .

You are certainly not alone in caring for your partner. It must be hard for him to go through this bout of depression. I can really stop one from living.

As a carer, it's important you have supports for yourself. Whilst we may be navigating supports for your loved one, your own mental health is of utmost importance.

Has he spoken to a professional about how he is feeling? Are there any professional supports in place for him?

He (or you) may be interested in SANE's Guided Recovery: https://www.sane.org/referral This is a free service.

[Kontessa87]

Thank you so much for that resource and your reply!

Yes, he currently has a psychiatrist and psychologist on board to help him directly and is in the process of getting some of his medication changed to aid him in how he's feeling. Unfortunately, it's a little bit of a trial and error, as when one dosage of his medication changes, it can (and has) affected the others; so it's a little bit of a process. 

It's in this interim, whilst they're figuring it all out, where he's fallen down the hole a little bit. I would like to encourage him to partake in your suggested service with me, but I'm a little scared of how that may come across in me asking this. 

Any tips on how I could do that without triggering him please? I feel helpless when he becomes despondent and shuts down in order to cope with his feelings. 

[tyme]

Hey @Kontessa87 ,

I'm glad he has the professional supports to help him through. Tweaking meds can be a bit of a task sometimes. 

With any service, I think it's good to read up on it, then share it with him. Then he can make up his mind whether to engage or not. You can let him know that you are willing to support him to make the call if he wants. 

This is because, from my own experience, unless he WANTS the support, it's very hard for him to enact changes.

In my own life, i sought help in my early days, but it didn't really work because I honestly wasn't ready for change. It wasn't until I was at the end of my self and had enough that I reached out again 10 years later. Then it was onwards and upwards from there - because I was ready.

He is so lucky to have you. Let him know you were there for him, these are some supports that are available and that you invite him to have a go - if he wants.

We look forward to hearing how it goes for you.

[Kontessa87]

Thank you so much for your kind words, your advice and for just providing a space where I can feel heard and seen. 

I feel guilty for feeling frustrated at times, because I know that what he's going through is so challenging, and I definitely argue with my inner critic of not being 'good enough' to make him feel better. 

Thank you ❤️

[Feemoo]

Hello everyone 

I’m a mum of 15 year old with ocd/ anxiety and DLD .  She struggles with confidence and doesn’t socialise.  I feel so bad for her.  She has done work with a psychologist who was unprofessional which wasn’t helpful.  Thankfully, my daughter has an outlet, she plays soccer ⚽️.  At school strategies are in place for her learning difficulty DLD and I help her at home.  She is desperately looking for a casual job but no success!!!  I worry so much sometimes.  I just wish she could do what other 15 year olds do 😣

[GardensHeart]

Hi @Feemoo ,

Welcome for joining us here. Thank you for sharing. 

It must be tough watching your child struggles. You have been doing so well in being strong. Hopefully you will be able to find some support from other members here. 

[Feemoo]

I really hope so

[Shaz51]

Hello @Feemoo 

How are you going today 

Great that your daughter plays soccer 

What things that she enjoys doing , to encourage her in things that she loves can open doors for future opportunities 

Here for you 

[Amy66]

Hi [edited by moderator], caring for a mentally ill adult daughter and probably at burnout.

[rav3n]

hey @Amy66 welcome to the forums!! lovely to meet you. 

burnout can be rough and exhausting. are there any self-care activities that have helped you gain some energy back? is there anything particular you're looking for in the forums? we're here to listen and support you 💙

also just letting you know i've edited your post to remove your name - we don't share personal information like names to uphold the 'staying anonymous' guidelines. this is to protect your privacy and keep your identity safe here. please don't feel discouraged by this, new members tend to take some time getting used to the guidelines! you can read more about here: Guidelines and technical support - SANE Forums 😊