Not sure what to do !!!

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member  & @Shaz51 

@Owlunar  @Determined @Jacques 

I do like @Former-Member 's suggestion. I went to a funeral of one of my elderly people ( I'm an aged carer at the present moment......) and another son and daughter from someone else I see were asking me some ideas of their Mum.

Why don't you trust your own intuition @Shaz51 ?? A visit to her Doctor with your Mum or without will not go astray........thinkig about the people being all anxious about their Mother did not look comfortable x

[Shaz51]

hello @PeppiPatty , @Former-Member , @Owlunar , @Determined , @Jacques , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope 

each day is different , today at the moment I feel ok , even though getting lots of advice from aunties and cousins

[Shaz51]

Hello @PeppiPatty , @Former-Member , @Owlunar , @Determined , @Jacques , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope , @Janiee , @Tufflife , @Starta , @Peri , @Appleblossom , @Adge , @Former-Member , @outlander , @greenpea 

if mum wants to cancell the intersistion team ???

" is she happy where she is ??

"she is a private and indepentent person ??

" does she want more ??

being nearly 88 , is what she has now is enough xxx

my mind is going into overload about wednesday when I meet my with mum`s nurse -- do I go with what the nurse is suggesting or do I go with what mum would like ???

[outlander]

Hugs and hugs @Shaz51 I would also consider how much you can handle. As much as your mum might want her privacy and things it's also a good time to give yourself a little bit of a break. It might take her a little bit to adjust to these changes but she will be ok.

[Shaz51]

thank you my sister @outlander , makes it hard , I still like mum to have a few things in motion to keep helping her daily xx

[Adge]

Hi @Shaz51 That sounds like a tough situation for you to be in, & a hard decision to make.

No wonder your mind is going into overload, mine would too.

Is the nurse's suggestion very different from what your Mum wants?

Is there any "middle ground" (an outcome between the two) - that your Mum would be happy with, that would satisfy the nurse?

Adge

[Shaz51]

hello @Adge , the nurse and the OT wants mum to go to the next step of using her scooter and go down town and get back to her voluntary duties at the op shop where she used to go twice a week

going to have a talk with mum and the nurse on wednesday

[Former-Member]

So difficult @Shaz51 and I certainly do not envy you your predicament in deciding or influencing any decisions.

Like someone else suggested, is there any middle ground to be had here?

What do you think she needs Shaz? Irrespective of what she may want.

I think its fabulous that she is so independant, but in reality its becoming likely that her determination to maintain independence is putting her safety at risk. 

Can you talk heart to heart with her and explain that you want to do more for her, but that you simply are not able to. Tell her how concerned you are for her, and how relieved you would feel knowing she was getting a little extra care while you cant be there. Try to get her to feel that she is doing it for YOU, rather than herself. 

Sherry 💜

[greenpea]

@Shaz51  Jeez Shaz51 I honestly cannot answer this question as you know your mum better than everyone here. What an awful position for you to be in ..... I wish I could say something to make it all easier for you. My mum is 84 this year and luckily is physically and mentally fit I have not had to deal with this problem that you are facing. My heart goes out to you and your mum xxxx

[Appleblossom]

@Shaz51 

I can understand your stress.  Everybody has posted good ideas. I cant add much, just that YOU being there to be the mediator who is watchful and caring may be enough to help your mother, navigate the system.  Ageing today is a whole new world, there are more challenges but also supports that were not available in the past.

Hugz Bella