Thank you so much for sharing that @Paperdaisy, and I agree, professional diagnosis is necessary.
I tried for 5 years to bring my ex to medical attention, and anticipated a diagnosis, and a recovery journey where we would all pull together around him as a family, and we could all heal with support services in place. Unfortunately it was never to be, but I certainly continue to hope for that and uphold it for anyone else in our situation.
Without a diagnosis and the necessary support we were really struggling. Before encountering this I didn’t realise (I guess most people wouldn’t) how much beyond the actual food or exercise issues the various conditions can go. For us it became about mood swings, rages (“hot” and “cold”) and then invasive technological surveillance. It was so clearly about control, and wanting / needing that down to the minutiae, and over everyone in the household and beyond.
Orthorexia patterns were absolutely part of it and became very extreme, along with C/S and excessive compulsive exercise. I felt so badly for him, and what he must have been going through on the inside - I imagine he lives with a very harsh inner critic - however he projected the idea that it made him somehow superior.
That is also where professional support for the sufferer and their family members is so important. Things are not as they seem, and projections can be so believe-able. The best I could do was to “agree to disagree” and try to hold boundaries and healthy patterns around our children, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t realise that he was gaslighting, devaluing, and undermining my future throughout the five years.
I wish him well, and understand that he is still really unwell, but he removed me from his journey without relinquishing ongoing financial and emotional control over my future, as yet, so in that regard I am still under the direct influence of his ED.
Not all stories turn out like ours. Keep aiming towards wellness everybody ❣️ Just keep swimming ….. 🐠🐡🐙🐟🦐🐳🦀🐋🦞🐬🐊🦑
