Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

[Louise]

Yes it might be good to ask about visiting. I assumed it would be good to spend a lot of time visiting but this backfired big time : my son and i had an argument and i stormed out. After that the psychiatrist told me that generally when people are in hospital they are too unwell for long visits.

[NikNik]

ASK ANYTHING MONDAY!

Thanks @Louise @Bookworm_90 @Desi @Appleblossom for responding last week. Today's question:

My question is how do you help an adult who is in a constant state of psychosis but won't/can't accept that there is a problem? He's on medication but it clearly isn't working as he's getting worse with persecutory beliefs/delusions etc It's taking a toll on his ageing parents who don't know where to turn for help....thanks for listening

[PeppiPatty]

But could a carer be hired from silver chain regularly ?

[Former-Member]

Thanks for your suggestion @PeppiPatty 🙂

There are several carers and family/friends of people living with psychosis/delusions who might be able to offer some support - @soul @Louise @Linmerc @Kiera80 @ivana @3forme @Annie2 Any suggestions, insights or ideas?

Also I think it's important to consider the wisdom of those with a lived experience, as it can be hard for many people to know how to respond to psychosis. @kenny66 or @Sheybridge from your perspective - what works well, and what doesn't work so well, in these situations? Feel free to jump in if you'd like to contribute. 

[Appleblossom]

Attacking delusions head on tends to create defensiveness, so I tend to walk around the issues, I might be minimalist in conversing about them and suggest other alternatives without insisting. Mostly the person needs to let it out .. but when I feel too put upon I might start moving around or suggest going for walk or doing something ..eg., day in the country ... if they have capacity at that time they might respond thoughtfully and tone down a little and appreciate the company and togetherness. Sometimes silence ... and I am there for you .. is best.

I never agree to anything I dont think is true but try to be diplomatic.

I focus on the creative and productive traits in the person ... my sister was a great sewer ... my brother a leadlighter. I was not allowed to talk to my father and most I discovered about him was through reswearch of public records well after he died.

It was not enough in their case as our family was too dysfunctional as mum was too defensive and often messed things up with her rigidity of thinking but she also tried very hard in her own way .. we were just at the bottom of the socioeconomic heap.

I listened to a lot of husband's rants about the CIA and PSI phenomena and tried to interject a few rational points here and there.  He had more confidence in his "science" as his whole family was highly educated and I was the only one in mine at that time, but I did know the basics. He made a DNA dodecahedron out of kids toys and then twigs from a bush walk etc .. I always encouraged expression and creativity.  His things were writing, sculpture and painting so that was what I supported. He was pretty arrogant about it all which was very wearing, but it did help him get out his demons.  The artwork was very black and I didnt really like having it on my walls but it helped him .. gave him social opoortunities to talk about his art etc it was just the way it was then.. I put a lot of support in many therapeutic art works for him ... for his part he appreciated my qualifications and intellect ...for a while ...I am only sorry I could not save my brother and sister .. but I do think it is the way to go. 

If people havent found a preferred outlet then that is the challenge to guide and provide opportunities for them to discover something ... whether it is being in touch with nature and knowing all the edible plants .. find a passion ... and some meaning can develop.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Appleblossom
I read your message with interest but I guess I'm faintly waving in the background ...... Dunno about that ......

Without thinking that I disagree ..... Instead I suggest :
Yes agree about the defensiveness but
....... I've personally found that if you speak simply, give a lot of space ......
You never know what might happen.
It's tricky ......
It feels like these poor patents need to look for a carers place via their GP which has people working who display very good boundaries ...... In Perth, there's. Place called PHAms which is where someone with lived experience comes to visit once or twice per week but ...... They found out my husband has a prison record therefore service taken away. That was such a shame.

[Appleblossom]

Good suggestions for services .. I just didnt have those options .. perhas because mother always blocked it .. as she hated mental health services cos of her hospitalisations.

I try to make things simple ... @PeppiPatty but usually always had far too much going on and so trying to deal with very complex realities .. eg each of my sibs had separate attachments to different foster families to work through .. but I had a lot of time just being and walking with people in psychotic states. They werent able to listen to me much though .. so a lot gets built up inside.. learned to talk as an adult in therapy.

I have been pretty mad myself .. borderline catatonic at the worst about 2 years after the main rush of suicides  .. but still got dinner on the table mostly at a reasonable time ...

[PeppiPatty]

Dearest @Appleblossom

So glad I found this email...was looking for it for a little while.....

I have no idea how you are still walking and talking actually. What I so enjoy about your messages is 

1 how much you have changed since starting sane forums. Its like ....you can write your story and your listened to. When I first starting reading your story, I was gobsmacked with ........your strength.

Still am. In that ...something that I feel about my Mother in Law....oh boy have we had the biggest arguements....

but at the end of the day....she worked and two children who suffer significant mental ill health issues before there was effective treatment. it leaves me thinking how doya do it??

yes, this is what makes US proud proud consumers, Meaning We have had the brave nature to seek mental health agencies in the past.

You will always be one woman who I feel deserves a card from the Queen or....I dunno.....The wonderful Actress, Annette Benning, to just say, hi, thinking about you.

I'lle do ....

Hi @Appleblossom,   

Hi Isabella,

Thinking abut you,

Anne x

My new sneakers.

[Appleblossom]

Thank you very much @PeppiPatty

Reading posts and sharing on this forum has been very important to me .. like the first time I feel fully accepted among a group of people .. like finding my tribe.

[PeppiPatty]

@Appleblossom I think that you show me how to change.
I've been noticing I look for your messages. A few months ago there was and still is a member called @Loopy who is my friend.
I would look for his messages too.
Anne x



Please comment on my new sneakers ..... Go Dockers